I’m feeling lots of resentment…I have almost 30 days sober…but whenever I’m watching TV and a booze commercial comes on or if I’m watching a TV show and the people on it are drinking I get jealous of it…I’m angry because I can’t have just one. I know this is a disease but I’m just really feeling like I’m handicapped. My brother’s wedding is in 2 weeks and I’m also resentful because I won’t be drinking and partying but everyone else will. I sound like a baby…I just keep reminding myself of the aftermath of drinking and I know it’s awful for me. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful as hell. Thank you for letting me vent on this wonderful forum. I can’t even meditate because my attention span is so bad. Hoping this is normal and will go away the longer I stay sober…happy Fall, y’all.
Yes it’s hard
In regards to the wedding just think about how fresh you’ll be the next day for a nice brekkie 
Thank you Darren!!! I’m going to do just that!
Thank you Ludo!!! Waking up without a hangover is priceless!
Fomo is common. Try remembering your personal reasons for stopping, the negative things it brought to your life before stopping, etc. I use that as a motivation and reminder.
YES! It’s total FOMO!!! Thank you for your message, KDAS. And will do!
Welcome! I am pretty new to the forum and find it is a great place to come vent or read others posts when you’re feeling down. It can be very inspiring. I too am struggling with the feeling of resentment. So much so that I didn’t leave the house all weekend and got rather pissy towards my husband Friday night when he started drinking some beer. I’ve started to realize that my resentment isn’t towards others, but really myself for not being able to control my alcohol.
Just think of how great you’ll feel the morning after the wedding, think of those feelings of resentment that you won’t be having the next day because you’re upset with yourself for drinking too much.
Yeah, I have the same problem I often get resentful if I’m around people drinking. It pisses me off that I cant. I also feel like im missing out or something. I have had more than a few relapses at the good ol family BBQ where everyone is drinking. I knew I had to stop going. Then I was like well now I am missing out damn it. Anyway I have learned I really cant be around it. I usually try to stick around those functions with Alcohol long enough to show my presents and leave. I sometimes feel it’s not fair but its much better then eating all the goldfish from the centerpieces at the reseption( YES I have done and got asked to leave) my wife wouldn’t talk to me for a week. So I feel your pain but for me my self preservation is more important than the fantasy of a good time. I pray for your sobriety and health.
If I could go back to my sisters wedding, I would be sober so I could actually remember it!! Instead I just hear stories and see pictures I cant recall. All I remember is the hangover from the day after. My advice: enjoy the sobriety!!
Almost 30 days is awesome! You know what happens when you drink, that’s good. Keep hold of that.
Have you read This Naked Mind? Or any recovery books. I found TNM helpful in adjusting my thinking about alcohol so I didn’t feel like I was missing out. I read two chapters a day (as recommended) so got through the book in two weeks. Worth checking out if you haven’t already.
There is no reason that you can’t party at the wedding. It can be so liberating to have fun sober. You will catch up with people you haven’t seen, connect with them in a meaningful way, remember all your conversations, silly dancing, awful singing. There may well become a point where everyone gets drunk and it all feels a bit tragic… That’s the time to say your goodbyes and go to bed, safe in the knowledge that you will wake up bright eyed, bushy tailed and with a head full of wonderful memories!
Thank you Danie <3 Yes resentment towards myself is what I’m realizing it is. I really appreciate your words. The wedding is coming up FAST and I know it’ll be over before I know it and I want real memories- not blurry ones. XO
Thank you SOOOOO much…I’m not going to a big annual pig roast because there will be alcohol there and I don’t trust myself just yet. Last time I went I got so hammered I almost peed in someone’s car. I do feel like I’ll be missing out but there will be next year and if I’m still not sure then I just won’t go- it’s not worth it. I have 30 days today and I worked so hard for them. Like a moth to a flame…XO
THANK YOU Pdebs!!! I will enjoy the sobriety- and I will remember being in pictures for the wedding unlike my company holiday party last December. I’m in so many pictures that I do not remember taking. Such a horrible next day, too. Also having to explain myself to my CEO and coworkers just plain sucked and I was so embarrassed. <3
I know I was annoying and crazy as hell when I would get drunk so I cannot imagine sober me being around drunk people…you’re so right…I will turn my envy into pitty. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! <3
Thank you so much I will do exactly as you said! Also, I just ordered the book on Amazon- THANK YOU AGAIN!!! <3
@MorningStar This is an unavoidable part of the process. You’re gonna have to feel like this for a while until your mind realises that behind the resentment/craving is the strength to make it through the moment. The next time you feel like this see it as mental/emotional/neurological strength training session. When you add more weight you will feel the initial strain of completing one rep, but unlike physical muscles your brain CAN ALWAYS adapt the strength you need to match the weight. It will get easier with time I promise, just know you deserve the time it takes to get there. One rep at a time.
Maybe try reframing your thinking because the truth is YOU CAN have a drink BUT you don’t want to because you know it will end in disaster, what is there to be jealous about there?
Very very early on in my sobriety I actually accepted that I have a serious problem relationship with alcohol and I could not have another drink.
I soon started to forget about all the resentments and jealousy and envy.
It wasn’t going to help me.
I don’t drink! I can still have fun.
Don’t overthink this. Just do it and you will be surprised how quickly your thoughts will change.