So… after 20 days (new best) i did it again… i knew it wouldn´t make me happy i knew it would make me feel like trash and yet i still did it. I am angry at myself for giving in once again. I knew if i would go back to that site (spicy.ai) it would be lost.
Does anyone know how to block sites?
There are diffirent ways you can block sites.
Apple has it in screen time in settings and then content and restrictions.
You can beat this.
It gets easier with them.
Find out what causes this to happen?
Was it some form of stress that led up to it?
I’ve been using Covenant Eyes for years. And I’ll keep it in probably for life. It has a filter. Currently, I’m not using the filter part and my reports are clean. That’s because I had to go deeper within myself than just avoiding behaviors. I needed to pay closer attention to my thoughts and my eyes.
It was so crazy hard to avoid going to porn sites and thirst traps and MB when my mind was constantly lusting, fantasizing and craving. I realized that it was much easier for me to clean up my inside (lust and fantasy) so that my outside would be clean,
rather than to clean up my outside (porn and MB) hoping that some of that cleanliness might rub off on the inside.
That took a lot of practice, conditioning, and help from God to pay better attention to my own mind. Plus, I had to address deeper rooted problems within myself. Shame, brainwashing, faulty paradigm. But I learned that if I stopped giving myself permission to think about it, I’m not going to do it.
I wanted to add that relapse is often looked at as the enemy. To me, acting out is but a symptom of deeper more serious rooted problems within me. And if I don’t expose and address those problems, they continue to remain. I cannot fix a problem that I don’t recognize and admit to. Thus, relapse has also been a gift. It points to something that God wants to fix within me. For if I didn’t relapse, I would have thought there was nothing deeply wrong within me. Thinking that what I’m doing is working and nothing needs fixing. In my case, these deeper rooted problems have subconsciously worked against me; undermining and sabotaging my conscious efforts to stop the behaviors.
So I have a question for you. From this last reset, what deeper rooted problem within you is God trying to expose? What lesson is He trying to teach you?
Is it free?
I have no idea. I have been trying to get closer to God which is why i wanted to quit MB in first place. Some time i think it is stress, sometime because i am bored. I think it is mostly a way of coping
No, it’s not. I tried free filters for years and they are pathetically inadequate. I pay about $17 a month. At that time, I just needed to bring out the big guns because I needed all the help I could get. It’s worth every penny.
With this addiction, one has got to do anything necessary to break free.
Often, a broken relationship with God happens to be what I consider the biggest problem. So it’s a good thing that you seek to address it.
Can I suggest you read Easy Peasy? That revealed my problem of brainwashing. And it’s brainwashing that tells me that porn can relieve stress or boredom. The resource is free online. It’s a hack book for porn addiction based on Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. The link is below.
Also, I would also suggest joining a support group such as a 12 step group (SA, SAA, or SLAA). That includes Celebrate Recovery or something similar like Reformers Unanimous. Those help meet my problem of Connection, which I believe almost every addict needs to address.
I found a Christian “12 step” program… Samson Society, I love it, they use Slack to communicate and do in person meetings as well as online meetings