You stumbled and fell. It’s part of the process - and what’s more important, you thought about it, put it into words. It’s like riding a bike or a horse, driving a car, or just walking - how many times didn’t we f**k up until getting the grip of it? Don’t punish yourself. Just think about what led to it and add it to your resources. Part of a way too big learning curve. All the best.
2 Likes
You guys are right. I just get so caught up in work stress and trying to numb it. I forget how bad it feels.
I feel so good when I’m sober. I get big chunks of time and then just crumble. I’ve gotta use some damn tools. I know what I need to do, I’m just so busy and exhausted it’s just so easy to fall into the alcohol helps me loop.
It’s not helping. It’s taking everything away from me.
3 Likes
You are right.
I am starting to see my triggers. I just am so exhausted and busy. I find it so hard to implement the things that will keep me sober.
But alcohol is robbing me of enjoying my life. Thanks for hearing me out, and thanks for the kind words 
3 Likes
It’s a bummer. We’ve all been there. But you picked be yourself up and started again. That’s what matters. Learn from the mistakes. And keep pushing forward. You got this.
2 Likes
Hi @Alycia - Remember what you said. This is life or death. Don’t let the devil take everything away from you. My job is super stressful (healthcare) and I can’t stand it! I’m suffering, but I can’t let the devil win. I could lose everything. I almost lost my marriage. This is life or death.
2 Likes
@Alycia. Not sure how you feel about trying AA but it has been my lifesaver this time around. I have an awesome home group and my Sponsor is ALWAYS there for me. Im at 37 days now and have a ton of Peace and Serenity. Maybe give it a few tries at least and see if it is something that might help.
2 Likes
I have tried AA in the past. I’m not religious, and I live in an area with a much older demographic. I find it hard to connect and relate. I need to find some alternate groups, it’s probably going to be online, as There isn’t a lot available to me in my town/city.
I know I need a social outlet. And a support network. This is where I fall down, I get time under my belt and I get really lonely. So I go out and drink.
Or I get stressed and I don’t have a group to turn to.
I’m just so busy and exhausted from working full time and being a mum, and I just can’t find time to find those things I need to help me stay sober.
2 Likes
Third monkey always finds the good in our doubts… thanks buddy or girl
I went to the gym today for the first time in months!! Felt good!! Your on the right path today stay strong girl
1 Like
Thankyouuu 
Up again for the gym this morning stead of feeling guilty and awful about my choices yesterday. One foot in front of the other.
Have a great day/night x
1 Like
Let’s go to the gym in the morning!! Well not literally lol … but going first thing in the morning helps pave my day in a positive way !
2 Likes
When I have relapsed in the past I find two things helpful to remember. 
1. The relapse doesn’t take away from what I have accomplished. I relapsed after 90 days? That means only once in 90 days I used - which is a huge difference from the every day that it once was! Now it’s time to dust myself off and go harder this next time.
2. I can now pull from the failures that brought me to this point. What steps led up to this relapse? What didn’t work for me? Something I should add into my routine? Is there anyone or anything that I need to cut out of my life to prevent this in the future?
You get the opportunity to try again, which is a huge blessing in itself. 
You got this, today is a new day!
6 Likes
I always think of serenity as being a kind of quiet,peaceful JOY 
So if you think SOBRIETY=JOY, then SOBRIETY must = SERENITY!?
Is it a coincidence they have the same amount of letters, and both start with ‘s’ and end in ‘y’?
Sorry, was just feeling a little philosophical today🥰
2 Likes
You should check out The Luckiest Club. Great online zoom meetings and community. I also do AA, but TLC isn’t 12 step. The membership has grown so much that you may have some TLC members near you or your nearest city. I feel very connected there, have a lady in New Zealand that I text with, several TLCers in KC. Glad you are back at it.
1 Like
Thankyou. You are right. I beat myself up really hard but I’ve come along way. I’ve made good progress. I just keep giving up and giving in.
I need some social fulfilment. I need a support network.
I also need to go to bed and eat some snacks when I’m exhausted instead of making myself more exhausted by drinking.
Just gotta get through each day at a time at this point. Day three, it feels really hard today.
2 Likes
Thankyou, I’ll have a look into this
This is one of the most important things in my life. Go to bed when you are tired, eat when you are hungry. Checking H.A.L.T. helps me tremendously in dealing with cravings. Maybe you want to give the HALT thread a look
2 Likes
Just rereading these posts after 152 days sober. No resets. I’m not letting alcohol rob me from my happiness and life anymore. I control the outcome. I won’t let it take anymore 
3 Likes
Fantastic! Freedom from alcohol is a gift.
2 Likes