I made a post earlier today on being 67 days sober. Well I reset the clock today to 0. I feel terrible . I can’t help but feel that my fiance will be disappointed in me. What do I do? I forgot how terrible this feels. I’m so disappointed in myself right now. Oh I started smoking cigarettes again too…ugh
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Well…relapse happens, but it doesnt have to. Time to evaluate what you were doing to stay sober and what you can change.
Lots or ideas here if you have the time to read!
You deserve a sober life.
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Sarah, you need to stop immediately. Think about that baby you’re carrying. If you can’t do it on your own, please go to a hospital or treatment center.
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I agree with Lisa07 it’s time maybe to check into a facility or hospital to protect your baby.
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As @Lisa07 said there are also hospital and treatment centers out there as well as recovery groups… What support networks do you have in place @Sarah84?
Reading your other post, it sounds like your partner is leaning on you. Who are you leaning on? It’s ok to need help, none of us do this alone. But we need to be prepared to ask for the help and accept it when it is offered.
This forum is full of evidence that it can be done, and full of people who want to help. Keep checking in and let us know how you’re getting on 
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You’re here. Meaning you don’t want to use. You want to be quit and sober and clean instead. Addiction is a beast. It’s too hard to beat it alone. That’s why you’re here. Let us help you. Together we can do this.
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Woke up thinking about your situation praying you and your baby are ok! Any updates?
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@Private50 We’re okay. Finally got some sleep feeling a little stronger today. Thanks for asking 
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Using with a child inside of you? Not okay. Get some professional help ASAP. It’s not only yourself you’re hurting.
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Sarah…please get whatever help you can. Your baby will suffer a lifetime for your mistake if you use. I’m sorry if that is harsh, but it is true. You know that. Prayers for you and your baby.
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Hi Sarah,
I hope you are feeling better and stronger today. I know for myself, it was really important to keep my focus on just the day at hand. Staying sober and clean just for today, this day right now. And worry about tomorrows sobriety, tomorrow. I found that helped make the day more bearable. I am sorry you fell off, but here is today fresh and new and you CAN get thru it. For yourself and your baby.
Keep coming here and reading as much as you can. I know sobriety can feel hard to navigate alone. Hopefully you can find comfort and support on the forum. I know many people here have spent time in rehab and other programs and maybe that is a good option and available to you? There are many NA meetings available online as well if not in person, those could be a good support as well.
Keeping our focus on today, we CAN get thru the day sober. Please keep checking in and reading. Please know you CAN do this. 
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Thanks for responding back Sarah84 we all care what happens to you and the baby! Please stay in touch with all of us find someone you can connect with or contact a facility for help. Have you thought about going to the doctor to get you and the baby checked out? How is your fiance doing I hope things worked out!
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@CapriciousCapricorn I can’t really talk to anyone about it other than my fiance and his mom but he’s an addict too. I feel like I’d be fine if I could just get put on xanax or something for my anxiety but getting any psychiatrist to call back is difficult. Maybe cuz of the holidays. But I wouldn’t be comfortable telling anyone about the problem cuz then they want to watch u, test u, and take the baby probly if u relapse which isn’t fair at all. I really don’t trust anyone in a professional setting especially since I’m already on probation
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Hopefully your doctor is just slow getting back because of the holiday. It sounds like a session with your psychiatrist would be a positive step for you.
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It isn’t fair for a baby to have parents in active addiction either. Get help for you and your baby. Make a better life for yourself and your kid.
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If your fiance is still using, its properly ideal you end the relationship and get as far away as possible. The changes of relapse are extremely high if he is still around you. Your baby comes first.
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Secrets of the “Professional Organizations”
Your on probation? Ok Your PO is already wanting you to succeed, and even if he’s a total douche, probation violations and arrests are lot of paperwork. No one likes extra paperwork
The idea of social work, psych care, probation etc. Is to help you straighten out your path, so you can lead a successful sober life. No one gets a bonus for your arrest, taking your baby, etc.
Xanax and other barbiturates are Category D pregnancy risk and can cause severe risks and lifelong defects for your baby. And I doubt you’ll find a Dr who will prescribe it in your situation
Your best options is to seek treatment for yourself and your baby. And consider your life choices, your fiance is still active how does that affect you? I would take a long look at yourself and your situation and decide what’s best for baby and mom, it can be painful.
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