Yesterday I walked over a convenience store and thought “Hey, couple of beers would taste nice” and bought 12. Feel hungover and shit right now but I guess that’s life 
Poured my leftover cans to toilet a minute ago. So back to day one… Damn, this guilty feeling is the worse :((((
Had 7 weeks. Fell off on Christmas. Shit show since then. I heard an AA guy say to me “one beer is too many, 1000 is never enough”
FUCK
I relapsed last night after 41 days. I was so proud of myself that I thought I could go to a work party and “just have 1”. That didn’t happen and today I had to reset. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself. I’m hung over and sick. It was so not worth it.
I’m on day 2 after 7days. Habits need to change
Don’t beat yourself up too hard. Just keep at it. It’s not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up!
My advice, and what has worked for me: you have to accept that it’s over. There can be no “one or two”. It’s all or nothing. It’s been 6 months since I took my last drink. I don’t even miss it anymore.
The common theme on here has been “moderation doesn’t work for us or we wouldn’t be here”. Best of luck guys.
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Thank you for your words. Yeah I can’t do moderation and that was not the plan yesterday either, I just wanted to get hammered. That was my decision then and it can’t be undone. Have to leave it behind and move on.
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Guilty??? Why? Twenty days is fucking awesome. You are a work in progress and don’t beat yourself down because of a relapse. Think good thoughts and get into the habit of doing healthy activities and before you even know it you are at 30 and 40 days. I’m a porn addict and I went from beating off three and four times a day every day with ejac to maybe once every other day…shit it’s not perfect but we are working on it.
I am pushing 5 days fully clean and it feels fucking good but if I relapse…shit…going to get back at it again. Congrats on the 20 days and get back to work. When I was that clean I was so happy I wanted to marry a fkn bar of soap. Keep on working.
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Thank you man, I really appreciate it 
I try to think this as a lesson. Humans make mistakes, just have to learn from them.
It is a lesson. I don’t try to fool myself anymore about it. Any drink I take will 99% of the time end up with me drinking 10 drinks, passing out and sick the sick day. You feel bad because you don’t want to drink, and you did. Use it to keep yourself from doing it again. It’s all we can do! You did 20 days you can do it again!
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