The Holidays were bad this year to say the very least.
Should have been a wonderful Christmas.
But instead, my mother recklessly poisoned my dog. He got very sick, almost died, and there was a lot of fighting, and my narcissistic gaslighting abusive mother has turned everything into my fault and is playing the victim and has disowned me now because of it.
I’m sorry about your dog. Your mother sounds like a real piece of work. All you can really do is keep working on being the best person you can be for yourself. Be gentle with yourself, get back on track. Sending you hugs and support!
Oh, and do come here to vent. You are not alone by any means!!!
Thank you. I feel like such a weak loser for letting some thing break me like this. I know I was scared, I know I was upset and I wasn’t thinking straight but now I’m right back at the beginning, and I hate myself for it.
We all have our own paths we walk, each road has their own bumps and potholes. It sounds like this was very difficult for you, and I can imagine there are years of difficulties built up beyond this one situation.
I hope your dog is okay, and that you have access to psychological assistance to help you work through these emotional wounds that serve as triggers for your urge to reach for a drink.
Everything is tied together. You are beginning again and that is all you can do besides learning from what happened so you can succeed in the future.
Hang in there.
Oh, friend! You are not a loser! I used to treat myself like that, always letting others to have such power over me, especially those I loved most, but you know what? We are walking a hero’s path right now. It’s a journey of self discovery and we gain strength and we gain confidence in ourselves, with each step we take. Love yourself, be yourself. Hugs!!!
Hi, don’t feel too down on yourself. I was on day 265 at the end of November. Had an argument with my brother about the way he treated our elderly mum. Relapsed and drank for 36 hours, but now back on day 30. Reset and go again, realise it’s a tough opponent, addiction is horrible but stay strong and just beat it one day at a time.
Sorry for the things that have happened over the Xmas periods
Things happen in Sobriety but with a strong enough program you can get through anything… I mean anything.
Stay strong, make changes and move forward 
Sounds like being disowned by someone who has that much power over you isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s unfortunate that family members can be so shitty. Some relationships just cannot be fixed and then it’s time for you to respect yourself and your boundaries.
If we could shame ourselves into positive growth everyone on here would be 10 feet tall. Accept that shameful feeling as a reminder for how badly you want change. Dust yourself off and get back to getting better. Sending hugs for you and your dog.
Hey Niz, ive had alot of shit dealt to me by my mother too…she gaslights me also, infact when i got sober i felt like i had to not only fight the addiction but her aswell…her disbelief in me…her pure distain for what i was doing…during my time sober and with alot if help from the lovely people on here ive learned to see her for who she really is and deal with her better…she comes from a different world and background to me…shes not emotionally intelligent and would rather win the arguement than think about how her words make me feel, she prides herself on never apologising or being wrong…i know they are character flaws not virtues but she is who she is and i cant change that, i can only control how i react to her…i love her shes my mother but i often dont like her and thats ok…nowadays rather than fight every battle with her i choose my battles wisely with her …i know if i react she will blow very low and that will hurt me because i am a sensitive soul… so quite often i just let her do her thing, take my mind off somewhere else and dont go there with her because most times its just not worth the upset…i even have a note on my phone that says “its not always your fault Kelly” to make me think when im being made to feel the bad one. Its hard when someone who is meant to always be on your side isnt but that doesnt always make what theyre saying to you true either. Please know you are not alone in dealing with this. Sending love and hugs 
I’m sorry this has happened to you @Niz and your poor furbaby…
When it comes to abusive, gaslighting mothers, I know the feeling all to well…absolutely nothing I did was right, she was never happy, so for my own mental health I had to go no contact, I realise this isn’t always possible, especially when you’re in the same house…
I’m glad you’re back safe and ready to go again. Take care of yourself, this isn’t your fault, please, please remember this… You’re not alone, sending hugs 
There is always going to be an excuse to relapse, life is like that, we are like that. The trick is to find another solution to our problems. Dust yourself down stand up tall and try again, we can always try try and try again. Wish you well on your journey.
