Hello everyone, I am new here. I had a few years sober under my belt then I slipped on vacation in Vegas last Halloween. It’s been almost a year since then, and I’ve slipped probably 20 times, holidays or birthdays, social events that I feel pressure to break and start drinking. Even if I “only have a few” I always feel guilty and shame, not to mention the hangover anxiety. I know I deserve better for myself and I just don’t want to fall back into the habits I broke free from. So I’m starting over, complete sobriety, starting yesterday. Figured I’d join a tracking app and start attending online meetings again to keep myself focused. I find it very difficult to admit to people in my life I can’t drink (embarrassing to be vulnerable ) except for my boyfriend. So I look for support in communities like these.
What’s everyone’s tips on not caving in the first few weeks, that always seems to be the hardest part for me, specifically how do you change your mind set ?
Nice to meet you all, thanks for all the help.
Those first few weeks were really tough. I had to change my entire routine, especially after work in the evenings and weekends. I immersed myself into recovery by going to an intensive outpatient program and AA meetings. I had to put the same amount of time into my recovery as I did into drinking and drugging.
Welcome! The first few weeks are absolutely the hardest. This site is great to keep handy when you feel anxious or alone in your decision. Reading other people’s vulnerabilities around my same struggle help me a lot.
This is a hard thing too. Until your brain gets comfortable with your decision to stop use whatever verbiage you want surrounding your decision; early day tomorrow, fitness challenge, antibiotics round.
Once you look inward to solidify your choice to stop you’ll know what to say. Now I look at drinking like I look at people who don’t drink coffee because it keeps them awake at night. They choose not to drink it because they don’t like what it does to them. Same with me and alcohol.
Lastly, if you find yourself tempted to drink come here and tell someone before you do. There is something wonderful about speaking your troubles into the internet and having a caring stranger pick you back up.
I’m glad you are here.
Thank you! My favorite NF is sparkling water, so I got a case and I’m going grocery shopping today to stock my fridge. I find it pretty easy to avoid drinking inside my home, cause I simply don’t keep it in the house, recently it’s been social situations. So I’m going to bunker down for a few weeks, play video games and read books, maybe start a new project in my house (I’ve wanted to paint my kitchen cabinets for a while). And go from there.
Been there done that … this time I am done I almost died last Saturday night after a wedding I ended up with a concussion and a scar for life on my knee besides all the bruises I got from falling… no more waisted days. I stopped for almost 6 months 2 years ago but when my father in law passed away I relapsed… I am a binge drinker and I forget that I am 57 and not 27 even though I’m quite in shape. I do a lot if cross training and I do tell people I don’t drink. If they ask why I tell them it’s just not good for my health I am allergic to it. My husband knows and he’s the only person who needs to know. I have problems dealing with my emotions… that’s my main issue and that’s what I’m learning to work on right now. I have been dry for 9 days and I am very proud of myself when I look at my face in the morning. I have a good job that I love, good friends and a wonderful man that’s been putting up with all my shit. Trust me this time you got this woman
Early on it’s good to seek outside support on a daily basis for your sobriety. Ask yourself what it is you really want for yourself, do you desire to be sober or do you desire to be an alcoholic?
For me, this is a golden nugget . Until I changed my attitude from, “ I can’t drink” to “I don’t WANT to drink”, it was fuckin hard! Now it’s a matter of focusing on what is best for me and my physical and mental health and well being. I look at each sober day now as another day of freedom.
It’s nice to meet you! I just downloaded this app an hour ago. I’m happy to read your message. I’m 28 and just had a very awful fight with my boyfriend this weekend, fueled by alcohol. I am looking to get it out of my life now- it has caused too many issues.
As for tips- since I’m also new I just want to say I really relate to you on the drinking for events. I’ve tried to kick it so many times but it just pops up everywhere. I’m really hoping this app can help keep me accountable and find meaning in these quotes and journals. And most importantly, knowing I’m not alone. It is embarrassing to admit to others, and I think at this moment, holding myself accountable is the best way to move forward.
I’m looking forward to making some killer mocktails and finding pride in not needing a drink. I hope for the both of us, and anyone reading, that we try our best not to shame ourselves if we do slip at a birthday, etc. Its great that we are aware and just need to give ourselves grace as we move forward!
Welcome to the community! This is a great place to start your recovery. Read as much as you can, especially when times get tough. I learned so much from everyone in their journey and tried things I thought might work for me.
AA was one of those things. It’s hard to speak with your regular people about things like this, but there, everybody is in the same boat. ‘Like minded people.’
When I quit this time, I was just ready to. There were moments when the thought of driving to the liquor store arose, almost out of habit, and I had to tell myself NO. It sounds simple but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
When I tell you I totally understand I truthfully mean it. I get really embarrassing when I drink and my wife basically gave me an ultimatum of sobriety or our marriage and that really hurt me because I knew I pushed her there. It was, no pun intended, a sobering reality that this is a problem.
Whenever I find myself struggling with it I think of how my drinking has cause me to hurt people I love or damage my relationships but also how it takes me out of being my true self.
As for staying sober my hack is fitness, I really enjoy running and lifting weights and I always feel positive and uplifted after. I also really like writing so sometimes I’ll write a short story. Or go play with my puppy. Anything that is positive and loving rather than negative and depressing. Also just focus on the day and the day alone. Look at each hour individually and know that at midnight you made it through a day and you can reset and do it again.
I love that HALT idea! I am eating so much more than when I was drinking (4 weeks sober yesterday) but I am also taking opportunities to exercise more, so I hope it counteracts my appetite!!!
. I suggest staying hydrated and well fed during the first few months of soberiety.
