Today is day one again after sober for 72 days. I guess I knew it was coming because I kept thinking that eventually I’d be able to drink again and I wanted to drink again.
While I was sober, my diet continued to be really bad and got worse. I switched alcohol for sugar and was eating a ton of carbs. I really didn’t feel all that much better physically.
Mentally I was getting there, but I still have some mental blocks. I know after yesterday it’s clear I won’t be able to drink again. I know I had told myself that before but it was almost like I needed to do it again just to see.
I am moving soon away from my family, just with my husband and kids and we are all ready for a new beginning. I really want nothing more than to be sober and start making healthy goals for myself. I love my family, but there is a lot of unhealthy habits and negativity that comes along with them.
I know I learned a lot in the 72 days, but I definitely wasn’t doing it the way I wanted to. I was just starting another bad habit of eating crappy and drinking pop instead of booze.
So today is day one again. I bought myself a new water bottle and am going to carry it around with me like it’s my baby. I know if I can make it 72 days that I can go farther next time.
I can relate to your post. I had 55 days before I thought I could moderate. I wanted to be able to have an occasional glass of wine on a patio etc… Even though I have read books and know it was a poison and so utterly bad for me, I just wasn’t quite ready to let go. The week that I relapsed it was as if I picked up right where I had been.
So I started again. I’m Day 25 now, and right now I’m wishing it was actually Day 80. And I’m waiting to be past Day 55. But most importantly it feels like something has changed. I’m more peaceful about it. It’s like “Well, I was doing really well, and I tested the moderation theory, and yeah, it really doesn’t work “ So now, here we are, and here we go.
Best of luck with the restart and the move - this is a chance for a whole new beginning!! I’m right there with you!
Thanks Melba. I was pretty sad this morning when I thought about how far I’d come and I just threw it all away. But I’m taking it as a learning experience.
Good luck to you to! I know we can do it. I’m hoping I’ll be more at peace this time around and not worrying about what I’m missing out on…because I’m not missing out on anything but my life when I drink.
“ So now, here we are, and here we go.
