Restarting the clock…

Well darn.
My husband came home a few days ago after being at work and the stress of having him home, I drank. I drank 2 bottles of wine last night. So restarting today.
He says I was mean to him last night but of course I don’t remember and I don’t want to admit to not remembering so I just don’t say anything. I know it’s not his fault I drink, I like to use him as an excuse. I see that in myself. He goes back to work on Saturday for another 3 weeks so I am here putting myself out here to a bunch of strangers because it’s easier.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
Thanks for listening.

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you feel stressed when he is at home? a lot ?

Sobriety can help you and you can consider more urgently how to gain comfort in your own home. what do you need for this to happen?

you can do this, you can, everyone can, I did.

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Thank you.
Yes it’s more of a personality difference. He is generally not a happy person most of the time, which is frustrating to me. I know if I was sober when dealing with him I may be more understanding of his feelings. He is not mad at me or the kids he just grumbles alot which I take as anger.
Ugh. I don’t want to drink. It makes me feel gross. If I can get past that time of day when I start I feel like I can keep the momentum. This is hard.

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Souns to me you both need to start communicating with each other :wink:

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I understand you. I often felt better when my husband was away and it was hard for me to have him back at home for the first days.
I’m a person who needs routine and stability so this coming, going, being absent did trigger me.
I send you strength and big hugs, be kind to yourself. Maybe try and practice better communication. It’s ok to feel all the feelings and name them, adress them, talk about them. :sunflower::hugs:

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Yes. It is. But you can do hard things! This was one of a list of mantras or sayings I relied on in early recovery - I would just repeat to myself, “I can do hard things. I am worth a happy healthy life. Alcohol makes me stupid. I’m worth it.” Etc. this, among other things, got me through those urges. Maybe come up with a plan for the next time your husband comes home from time away to be proactive about staying sober and learn lessons from this event.

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I have been terrible to my husband when i drink and same as you, dont remember it. Which then means how do we apologize correctly if we don’t even know what happened?
Being sober has helped tremendously. I remember everything and I don’t turn into that mean person.
We started going to counseling. It’s definitely a communication thing and this has been teaching us how to better communicate. I highly recommend it…along with staying sober :heart:

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I exactly understand. I had problems having my boyfriend the weekend while rest of the days we are living a 2 hours drive away from each other. The weekend we spent every minute together, I am not used to. Still not. To escape - might be one of the thousands of “reasons” to drink - I always cooked while drinking the first glases of wine.

Now I understand this better, first I told him, there will be no wine anymore, I can’t deal with it, I drink wine like water. Surprisingly - or not, haha - he agreed, so no wine anymore.

Then I plan our weekend a bit better and think about what I like to do or what I want.

Clear communication, of course after I discovered what is it that I do need.

Second the leaving. Every Sunday afternoon I have been left, that’s what I felt. A bottle of wine has been my false friend in these hours.

Then I had to fight against the hangovers.

Now I make plans. For me, when he is coming and when he is leaving.

I go to the gym - my bag is always packed - or I knitt.

And, most important, I have talked about it.

It’s getting slowly better.

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