Last night, I attended AA at my home group. I participated in the Step Study. We read Step 5. This got me thinking 
I haven’t done a Step 4 or 5 in 18 months. Returning to Step 4 & 5 feels different. I don’t have the “Big Boulders” to throw out, but the “Little Pebbles” remain.
I am struggling to deal with the pebbles…sigh. The boulders were easier to confront. The smaller things seem harder. I feel like, I should have a dozen pebbles on my list. But, I have one so far.
What I do know is this. No matter the amount, returning to the steps is important and a necessity in maintaining a sober life. Maybe, I will read both Step 4 & 5 again to activate my spiritual energy? All I know, is that 18 months is a long time to not return to the Steps.
8 Likes
I wonder if how sobriety affected your thinking and what needs work, from - the work you already made
Im 2 years clean and sober
Never did steps with a sponcer
I dont know
But
How has recovery, effect, you decision.
Exp.
Big head
Knowing everything
Anger
Cutting off a old edge wrong
..these are negatives
The steps are so difficult for me
But i had this thought after i read your thred
2 Likes
Getting back to basics and working on the present issues is one of the main sources of my life improving dramatically in the last years.
I’m not in AA but the concept of doing what is necessary over and over again, looking into what revealed over time, working on it, that is something effective to dissolve and let go of issues, patterns and behaviour that no longer serve me.
Take your time to do the steps and work on it. From my experience the pebbles take much longer to get solved.
3 Likes
Yea i tell my guys its healthy to return to steps especially if need be step 1 Admission and powerless.step 2 and 3 hope and surrender step 4and 5 inventory and confession step 6and 7 Character Defects steps 8 and 9 Amends 10,11,12 on a daily basis, hopefully your sponsor can help wish you well
5 Likes
This was me about 3 months ago lol I joined a new fellowship for another addiction and they use the AA Big Book to go thru the steps. I hadnt done another set of steps in well over 10+ years! Honestly, I learned sooo much going thru them again. Its amazing to see what i had been missing out on this past decade and the things I actually had stopped doing bcuz I forgot about the true meaning of all the steps.
My Step 4 wasnt the BIG stuff (as that had been dealt with previously) but yes… those damn pebbles lol.
Spiritually tho, it really brought me closer to God. And seeing what my defects of character were again was also eye opening. We cant fix what we dont know. So being more self-aware now, i can work on thr aspects of myself that are causing me problems today.
I think ur idea of re-doing the steps is a fantastic one. I hope u share ur journey with us more if u decide to go thru them again.
Its always nice reading posts from u friend 
3 Likes
Thank you @Butterflymoonwoman for your continued support. I’ll definitely will take your advice.
1 Like