I would like to know all possible root causes for porn/masturbation addiction.
Please list them out for me, if You know them.
You’re the one inventing your own program. I feel like you should be telling us. Unless you wanna pay people to help develop your program.
Speaking as a recovering porn addict myself, I can say my journey started with a search for books on the topic. @BobIsGone is right, there are lots - I wouldn’t want to limit your search at this early stage, just take a look, order a few, and then read them.
Some take a more cognitive approach, talking about porn’s effect on the brain and arousal patterns; others take a more behavioural & spiritual approach, talking about our sense of purpose in life, the way that the sex drive is, in humans, both about procreation and about pleasure (and what does that mean for our boundaries, our sense of what we should and shouldnt do?); still others take a more social / biographical approach, describing the exploitative aspect of porn, and how that drove one or more viewers to reconsider their use of it.
I’d be cautious about presuming to compile a definitive list of root causes. In my experience in sex addiction recovery groups, there are as many different reasons people run to porn, as there are people. One thing many do seem to have in common is they’re escaping. What’s helpful - and this is where an external list, unfortunately, cannot be effective - is to really dig deep into what’s behind an individual’s escape into porn and sex addiction. That kind of insight requires mentorship and counselling.
This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately and I have not come to this forum in a week and it’s ironic that when I did, this is one of the first things I noticed. What @Matt said is correct so there is not much to add. One thing I have noticed about myself though is that when I quit one thing, I tend to latch on to another. That has been the case for me with alcohol and porn. And again, as Matt said, there’s probably something that is the root cause of this that needs to be addressed if I want to avoid hopping from one addiction to another. And also, early on, make sure you separate masturbation and porn. One is a healthy natural thing, the other is not. Where I and others have fallen short is conflating the two. Masturbation is completely healthy and can help relieve stress and tension. Porn complete fucks and rewires your brain circuitry. And one last thing, porn was by far harder for me to kick than alcohol ever was because it feels like a victimless crime. But there is a victim, you. So good luck on your journey man and know that you are not alone.
Be careful what you normalize. I think masturbation is isolating and selfish. There are a great number of others here on the forum who are addicted to masturbation.
You’re absolutely right that there are plenty of people who are addicted to masturbation itself without the porn (it is very rare to have one without the other). But, you would be hard pressed to find any literature that supports the claim that masturbation itself is bad. There’s actually a lot of literature supporting the counterpoint. I would never encourage anyone to whack away without any self control. That’s definitely not what I am advocating. I am simply saying that masturbation itself is not the culprit if done in moderation. Porn is what gets you no matter how much you ingest (in my opinion. there is research that suggests that porn in moderation is okay). So normalizing masturbation to the extent that you see it as a healthy act if done in moderation to me is okay and allows people to not hate themselves for having done it. I mean have you seen the multitude of YouTube videos of animals masturbating? As far as I know there’s no PornHub for monkeys.
Good point. I think Rob’s point was that for many people in recovery from porn and masturbation as addictions, masturbation is often (and I think a lot of us would say always) a slippery slope. In my own case at my darkest moments I’ve been up all night masturbating 4,5,6 times & then numbing myself with Netflix, then repeat. Then I’ve called in sick the next day. And then spent the day bingeing on food, wasting time and money, and sometimes masturbating again, several times that day.
It’s true that the vast majority of people don’t have a problem with masturbation. Just like the vast majority of people don’t have a problem with alcohol. But for a percentage of the population, it is at best a giant red flag - and it’s best for them to very careful about it.
We are not animals. We have higher intelligence and self control. Also, I would argue that consuming porn is not healthy for anyone. This is aside from the ethics of pornography.
Rob, I have read a lot of the comments you’ve left on various threads and it’s obvious that you are a very intelligent individual. So, for you to say that we’re not animals… let’s say it confuses me.
That’s fair Matt. In that context, refraining period may be the best solution. But, I still think in your mind, keeping those two things distinct is a good idea.
You know what I mean by animals. Let’s not have a literary battle here. Sure we belong to the animal kingdom. But, we are distinctly separated from other animals by our cognitive abilities.
Haha fair enough. That may have been a bit facetious. The point I was trying to make though is that completely separating ourselves from animals is a disservice in my opinion. I mean we trust we’re related enough to animals to run clinical experiments on them and then extrapolate them to humans right? So I don’t see why comparisons in other contexts wouldn’t be fair game.
That’s an interesting distinction to draw. Is that something like separating bars from alcohol? If we draw a line between those two things, and say one is universally ok without the other, does that help alcoholics in recovery? I’m open to any answer on this, no worries.
Animal testing is a preliminary to human testing. It’s testing to make sure it’s safe for human testing.
Fair question. I would say that distinction is important because it helps you get to the root cause of things. That’s why when you go to therapy, they start with a grand narrative and break it down into distinct specific pieces in order to properly diagnose and treat a patient.
Haha you’re right. But I feel that you’re doing to me now what you accused me of doing to you previously. You understand the point I am trying to make here.
Fair. The point is that animals cannot be used as examples of what human behavior ought to be. Sure animals masturbate. Animals also kill their young and the weaklings in their societies, as well as do stuff like fling their poop around or wallow in it. With the higher cognitive ability and moral compass, human beings have a greater ability for control and organization.
There is research out there for most things. I look at most research with a skeptical eye. I’ve taken graduate level courses on research and how to interpret it. Not all research is equal unfortunately. Even if the research looks good, the power of it may be weak, the sample size may be too small, too biased, too narrow… etc.
When I see someone shout that there’s research done on something, it is meaningless unless I see it for myself.
Distinction is a valuable tool in analyzing narratives, for sure.
Ok - so if bars and drinking are distinct parts of an alcoholic’s narrative, does that mean the drinking is ok if it’s not in a bar?
That’s an interesting way to interpret it. Why not, “being in a bar is okay if he not drinking”?
You’re absolutely correct about being skeptical about all research. Even if something today is supported by all scientists it could be proven false in a year. That happens frequently and your point is well taken on that. I would also like to point out too that I am not saying that animal behavior should be used as an example of what human beings ought to be. I’m saying that observing behaviors that cross various species can give us some insight into the root cause of our own. And even if we view something as morally reprehensible within out social and cultural framework, they fact that other animals behave similarly should encourage us to view the behavior/s outside of a moral lense and inside of a functional one.