Trigger warning -
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My older son committed suicide almost 2 years ago. His 29th birthday would have been 11.8 and he was a sergeant in the Army so we also have Veteran’s Day. I’m having a rough week.
He used a gun and survived for 2 weeks. He woke from a coma the second week and I was with him when he died after being taken off the ventilator and other life support. He woke from the coma after a week but didn’t want surgery. The neurosurgeons at the famous hospital where he was taken said he would never be the same.
It was heart-breaking for me and traumatizing. I try to make new memories on top of the anniversaries but it is still hard.
My resolve to quit drinking has been tested this week and is being tested.
There is nothing I can say to take away your pain, however, I want you to know you are not alone. Losing loved ones in this way, seeing them suffer and perish is unbelievably devastating. Some would say unbearable, but you have borne it. You are living to tell your story and I’m grateful you have shared. Would it help to tell stories that bring you a bit of joy about your son? What made you proud of him? What is a little memory that makes you smile? You still have those to cherish. You don’t have to share them here, but I hope you can bring them to mind and hold them close when you are hurting most. No drink is going to take away your pain. It will only make things even worse. You can get through this. Sending lots of love your way.
@JayneB
Is there anything at all we can do for you right now? Any help we can give you?
Sometimes just being heard and feeling seen can do wonders.
How can I help you?
I’m sorry for the life that was taken from you … your son dying.
Glad you’ve posted and talked about the pain and how ( understandably) hard it is for you and how you’re having a rough time.
Lots of support and community here for you. Thinking about you during this hard time and hoping you can keep your sobriety with the help and suggestions here… and your own resolve.
Big hugs. I’m so sorry about your son.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comforts and peace. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
On Dec.2022 my husband who is active duty militarily’ is also an alcoholic. He tried to commit suicide but survived. When he drinks he threatens this especially when I tell him
I’m leaving. But this time his nephew was around and tried to stop him. They had a struggle and the gun went off hitting my husband in the head.
He’s been home for about 1.5 months but he is incapacitated. He has TBI Dementia pretty much. It’s been very hard. I don’t even know how I am still sober. I quit drinking a couple years ago but relapsed recently so I reset my clock. But this time I quit smoking weed as well. I did that for years.
I go to Al anon and I recently joined a group for family members of suicide survivors. I’m hoping to find comfort there since I am waiting for my appointment for counseling.
I’m so sorry for your tragic loss. I can only imagine the deep pain you must be feeling.
Alcohol might dull things for a short time, but the anguish will be waiting for you when you sober up and you may end up feeling worse in the long run.
I hope you are able to find a way to lessen this emotional pain during this difficult point and also as time moves forward. I wish you the best in this.
