So another time around, since there’s been too many to count. I tapered for over a week and I’m now a day and a half sober. That was rough and part of me didn’t think I could get through it. I haven’t left the house bc my amazing fiance who helped me though just doesn’t trust me to go anywhere yet. Makes sense. But I’m going a little stir crazy. At the same time I still feel weak and just off. I remember this feeling all too well. I hate that I just can’t be that person to handle drinking- nope I’m The Who starts off fine then before I know it I’m spiraling, hiding it, paranoid, waking up with the shakes, body in shut down mode, and terrified bc here I am again. He knew I just wouldn’t admit it then one morning I just said Babe- you’re right I’m drinking again and I need your help. He was right there just like everytime before. It’s that buzz that I crave, that I miss, that I chase when I know what’s going to happen I get a serious case of the F’its. Today is the first time I’m going to try to just a do a couple things since my place looks like it blew up. The anxiety and constant hating on myself is so damn real. I need to do this and it just has to be the last time. I have more to lose than I’m saying but it’s a lot. Anyways day one let’s go #onesecatatime #praying
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So glad you found this place! It’s been a huge help to me in my sobriety; I hope it is for you, too.
I know how hard thise first couple of days are, and how loudly addiction shouts at us as soon as the hangover wears off that that this time will be different! This time we can stop at 1 drink!
Every hour, every minute, that you fight back and resist the urge is a victory. And sobriety feels awesome. Keep checking in here. We’ve got your back. 
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