Every week I tell myself that Im not going to pick up and then I do. I know that ots hurting me. I reached out to my sponser and took in AA zoom. Im so broken and so weak. Please help
10 Likes
Ah Julia
I’m so sorry that you are struggling. I am glad you have AA and a sponsor.
Do you have alcohol at home? Are you able to dispose of it or ask others to keep it elsewhere (out of your sight)?
What helped me get started was changing up my patterns so I was not near places that sold alcohol. Taking longer routes home to avoid triggers. Not sure if this is possible for you.
Stay connected here. I know when I first joined this place I was glued to it. Read and reread the threads. Tried to connect daily with individuals here that helped me feel not alone
When the urges occur…find something to occupy yourself mentally and physically so you can not have room to romanticize the drinking.
Sending strength and love my friend…you are among friends here … please lean on us 
6 Likes
Aww Button I’m sorry to read this.
Well, you been around AA a bit. If I remember correctly. Aren’t you the one that started off going or doing 90 in 90? I can’t remember now. Whoever it was I enjoyed the check in back then.
As you’ve heard.
It a cunning and baffling disease.
I think it’s Satans perfect work. I know I didn’t think I wanted to start off an addict or alcoholic. I just wanted to have fun. And then it took work planning everything waking hour around getting a drink. Then it simply wasn’t fun for me. It took me a long time before I got sober. I never even tried. And I see you. Working your ass off trying to make this sober thing work. Your a warrior!
I’ve been around this forum quite a bit for the past 4 and a half years plus. I’ve seen many many people get knocked down and come back. Over and over and over again. They kept coming back. And eventually it stuck. Stick with the winners. That’s us. And keep coming back. Maybe today is the day it sticks. Just don’t drink today my friend. Just don’t drink today.
9 Likes
Thank you so very much
1 Like
I wont! I asked my partner and family to help me. Now im just resting in bed watching Disney movies. Also reached out to Psychiatrist to help with trauma and the why. Im so tired , everyday i stuggle with mental health. Struggle with major depression and anxiety… the drinking just made it all so much worse. I keep falli g and im so scared. Im going to have to start doing a meeting a day again…
7 Likes
I also relapsed over and over for more years than I’d like to remember. This last time, i knew i didn’t have another chance left. It was get sober and stay sober or lose everything. I went to outpatient counseling and took it seriously. i was upfront with everyone about my sobriety and didn’t go anywhere where there was any chance I’d drink. I also got medication that helped with the cravings. It was hard. There were a lot of days that really sucked, but it was definitely worth it.
2 Likes
That’s a good plan. I’m not pushing it. But maybe a med would help. Drinking definitely makes the mental health struggle worse. And of course we know this but…….we still do what we do.
I had times early on I was going to 8 meetings a week in Al-Anon. I needed it. It didn’t last forever. But when I’m away from meetings. AA meetings or Al-Anon my spiritual tank gets empty. Lately I been hitting up more AA meetings instead of Al-Anon. Sometimes those meetings only have a shelf life of 24 hours and I got to get to another one. But I don’t have to do it forever.
Enjoy your movies and doing nothing. I did that for a bit too. With a big side of memes. I needed some humor.
Take care friend.
5 Likes
Thank you @Dazercat you and @JazzyS have always been such a great support and source of encouragement and the love you show. Thank you. I feel foolish when I post in other theads like soberselfies or daily gratitude after I relapse. Im ashamed and feel like people are going to oll their eyes and say " oh theres button back on day one again" i know thats coming from negative thoughts but i still feel like dog with its tail between my legs.
5 Likes
Oh sweet friend… please don’t feel shameful…you are not alone in this struggle. I don’t even know how many day 1’s I had before this one stuck and honestly each day I’m grateful I don’t slip…cause it is a fine line. We are all here to support one another and love to see you when you are thriving on the selfie thread or practicing gratitude and need you with us when. You feel like relapsing or as you are finding your way to say 1. We got your back girl! You are a part of our sober family
Much love to you
4 Likes
I’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling Julia but it’s so good to see you checking in and reaching out.
Like @JazzyS said please don’t be shameful You’re not alone and we love seeing you on the selfie thread.
Sending you love and strength. Don’t give in girl … You are a fighter. Don’t stop fighting for yourself.
I’m proud of you.
3 Likes
I get this 100%. I started trying to get sober for real in November 2021. And I relapsed so many fucking times. It was almost ridiculous, because I really was trying and my intentions were good, just like I know you are, because I’ve read your posts. And it was so hard to keep starting over. Not just on here, but to the people in my life that I told I was done. I was so beaten down that I finally just gave up and realized I was gonna get sober, or how I felt was how I was always gonna feel until it killed me. And then something just clicked. Call it a God shot, or luck, or rehab finally working, or whatever. 6 months from now you can either look back on today and be 6 months sober, or you can be still trying to get sober. It is gonna stick if you don’t give up
6 Likes
Im making this stick!! Theres no telling myself “In the future I can have a few.” That was the lie I told myself this time that if i stopped for a few months then I didnt have a problem. Whatva foolish lie. I then stopped doing AA meetings. I got cocky and over confidet. Now im paying for it. My partner and I had a conversation last night and if I continued to drink ( because everytime I drink I get angry now, never used to be that way)our relationship will not work. I could not live with myself if I lost a person who loves me more than anyone has ever loved me because of my stupidity. I pray to God to please make this work! I surrender I surrender I surrender. 
5 Likes
This is where we need the support the most…can’t lapse in doing what works cause our disease is always waiting to pounce. We are here with you my friend and together we can stack on another 24 hours 
2 Likes
I’m coming up for 4 days sober tomorrow but I’ve got to tell you the urge to drink & smoke today is overwhelming. When I was drinking I never thought of liquor but now that I’m on my sobriety journey, liquor is all I can think of.
4 Likes
Its so powerful but I think as long as we reach out and get passed those cravings. Ive herd the craving will last only 20 min. Dont ket that sly little voice that sounds comforting Deceive you. Im here with ya! đź©·
3 Likes
@Button83 Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it. “That sly little voice that sounds so comforting” as you say, has got me in a vice grip today ngl. Cheers 
1 Like
Dont listen to it!! Just for today you dont have to!! Lets worry about tomorrow together! 🩷🙏
2 Likes
You ever have an urge, I’m here. Shoot a message anytime
For real
1 Like
I just wanted to say good idea! I honestly couldn’t stop until I got the help and medicine that I needed. I faithfully keep my appointments with my psychiatrist. I know it’s vital to my sobriety.
2 Likes
Yesss 
thank you. Mental health is so very important
1 Like