I don’t even know why I am here or how I found this place but somehow, I think this will be a key player in my recovery if that is even possible. I am not a religious person, but I still pray that I find a way out of this horror movie I live in. I feel like my entire existence revolves around addiction. Not saying how old I am but I am a grandfather, a young one but none the less a grandfather and have seen my fair share of good times and bad times and probably seen by others as a man’s man. Bearded tattooed strong… on the outside… but inside I’m scared as fk about my alcoholism and scared to quit.
I can dust a bottle of whisky on any ol regular night and if it’s a weekend… it’s on… I don’t think my wife understands the extent of my addiction and doesn’t give me grief, she smokes a bunch of pot and I think she thinks its just kinda my vise and it’s all good. I handle myself well and work at least 60 hours a week or more while binge drinking like there is no tomorrow. I don’t want to tell her where I am and my few friends I have are also alcoholics so they don’t want to talk about it or hear about it but I am so fk tired of being an addict. When I was young coke was my thing and had to hit rock bottom to get sober but now, I don’t have the option of hitting rock bottom. not sure why I am posting this is just feels good to vent, it’s the first time I have ever had the guts to say I need help.
I hear you. You are not alone. I was scared how me looking at my addiction would change my dynamic with my husband but thats not whats most important. Whats important is you are asking for help. You want out of the cycle and the habit and the addiction. You can get out!
This amazing community and aa meetings (online and in person) helped me find a peace and happiness i have always yearned for.
Theres hope my friend. Glad you found this community!!
Very well said!!
Thank you I appreciate your response it means more than you might think. I don’t even know what I’m going to do but I feel like I’m ready to start learning about the next steps.
Theres many different paths you can take. Community support has been amazing support thru the ups and downs of sobriety.
Welcome to the community 
The first, and sometimes hardest step of recovery, is admitting that we have a problem and need help. Congratulations on taking that uncomfortable step. This place is amazing for giving us the confidence to speak freely of our problems/worries when it might not be possible to in our everyday lives. We’re all going thru the same thing here and want to see each other to succeed. When I quit, I didn’t know what to do until I found this place. I read and read and read and learned what others had done to achieve long term sobriety. I took advice and, after some more trial and error, I found something that worked for me. It’s a chronic work in progress but worth it. I hope you can find inspiration here as well. All the best on your journey 
See ya around!
Hello!!
I have kind of a different experience so I cannot say to you oh I relate 100% etc
You are very strong for quitting coke, I think that this success should serve as a reminder for you to know that you may feel scared now but you have already won addiction once and you can do it again.
I achieved my goal of quitting my doc, other harmful soft and hard drugs, plus alcohol and cigarettes through my fitness journey and through coming back to this community.
Indeed, coming on here can really really help you. People here are inspirational and always ready to support you.
Plus, the opposite of addiction is connection. So if you feel like you have no one to talk to about your worries you can just message me. Many people i know have asked/benefited from having a pen pal here!
I take your struggles with drinking very seriously and I think that reaching out is very brave of you.
I wish you the best of luck with putting this bad habit behind you!
P.S. if you can, find something non-alcoholic that you can drink with your friends/family so that you don’t feel left out
Welcome to the forum! I totally can relate to ur post. I was petrified to get clean and sober. Every time i went into rehab or attempted to stop on my own, i was scared to life with it and without it. But the reality was, was that i knew where addiction was going to lead me. I didnt know at the time where recovery was going to lead me but it had to be better than where i was at. A hopeless shell of a human being, lost, alone, bankrupt in many ways. Change is scary for alot of us but u dont have to hit rock bottom to change. It sounds like u have alot to lose. U can put addiction in its place and change ur life for the better 
we are here to help
Thank you for the encouraging words i appreciate it
Thank you i appreciate the response ive always been the strong tough guy but im completely on my knees right now. Its nice to hear from people without an agenda.i feel like some of my friends need me to be an alcoholic to stay in thier journey
If this is the case then are they truly your friends. One of the hard thing about quitting i hear people say time and again is how hard it is losing your drinking buddies and the socialization aspect but at the end of the day you will make new friends and find that those bonds will be far more healthy and Intrinsically valuable
I am a girl but because everyone tells me I look like a viking (i am tall and built like a box essentially lol) and I try not to look upset in front of people, people see me like I am this tough bitch but I am very sensitive. I was able to showcase that this year and I think it helped me like I got liberated but still you cannot control when or if that happens
You say you are on your knees which sounds like you have fallen.
You have not.
You are here now because you want to fight.
You are on your feet. You may feel weak but you are not. Weak people are not able to admit feeling weak at times.
For the friends thing I have a story basically: I announced to my best friend that I have started hitting the gym and that I will no longer drink or smoke. One day he calls me and he says we opened this bar or smth like that, ditch the protein shakes and let me buy you a drink.
He said it twice. I said to him no from the first time.
We never talked again.
I am 20 and have no one to go out with most of the time because he and his friends were my friend group.
Still I would much rather be alone and sober than wasted with people that are not with my through thick and thin
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help, and to be honest with ourself about our addiction problem. Its the first step in the right direction. Take your time, its not a race…sobriety is a journey not a destination. One day at a time, if it gets too hard, take it one hour, or one minute at a time.
We are here to support you!! 🫶🏻
It takes guts to admit you have an addiction. It takes strength to ask for support with addiction. From what I see, your inner strength easily matches your outer strength. Far from weak. What tools or skills did you use to drop cocaine addiction? They can be bolstered through coming here, and being around like minded people who are on sober journeys. We get you and we’ve got your back. The energy you put into your old drinking buddies may be better invested in yourself. It’s time to be selfish about your sobriety. Talking with your wife about it will happen when you feel ready. Be kind to yourself, this is tough but doable. As a newbie here, I found this helpful resource that clearly and concisely steps out a sobriety plan:
What’s YOUR plan?
Check it out and take from it what you need. You’re not alone in this journey. We’re riding dirty with you. You’ve got this!
Hey man, welcome to TS
I will say I’m probably more like you than even I’d care to admit, but here we both are.
You took a great first step by joining up. There are some fantastic people here, great insights and amazing information. And when you just need some inspiration, read the many many stories here. They definitely help you understand you aren’t alone.
I’m only 50 days in on this journey to kick the booze, but I can say it is amazing to wake up feeling great. Moving through the day not worried about when you can break away and have another drink bash. Be clear headed for your family, for work for getting shit all figured out. It does work and it gets better.
Wish you well brother, and hope to see you around.
Welcome i no its clichés but admitting it and asking for help is the hardest part , yes its rough at the start but worth it man , i here u about tough on the outside i was always known as the bloke who could handle his drink and drink for days while others were doing coke id keep up with them just on booze but inside i was dying and i couldnt tell anyone often suffering from awful hangovers were i contemplated ending my life , it took me to lose everything to finally accept what i am and i needed help so well done for admitting it to yourself before that , now there will be bumps in the road and maybe relapses maybe not but whatever there is always someone on here with great advice your not alone. Stay strong 
You’re in the right place, keep coming back here and keep reading, build up a tool kit to improve your life.
I have been sober for over two years now and believe me it can change your life for the better if you’re willing to put in the work to achieve it!
This right here:
I used to beat myself up for being unable to drive my family to or from places due to alcohol in my system. This change has been a liberating benefit since sobriety. I have higher self esteem, knowing I can be there in a pinch.
Welcome! I don’t know how I found this group either but I’m thankful that I did. I hope you find the forums as helpful as I did and still do.
Welcome to the forum, it’s a really safe place to be when you are trying to not drink. To wake up and commit to a sober day, to take action on that commitment and lay a sober head on the pillow at night, that was a challenge for me. Some days it took a lot of strength of will, but most days I found it easier to just surrender to the reality that I needed help and to use the help that was so easily available to me.
If you’re wondering maybe why you posted, check out this thread about the journey of recovery. Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.