I hate shopping for a therapist too. Are you looking for online or f2f? I have made it as far as printing out a list of those who take my insurance, but I am waiting a few weeks to let my psych meds take hold. Can your medical doctor provide any recommendations that might shorten your search?
I like the Clarence the Dog videos. Funny and true.
I think I need f2f. I’m worried that online would be too easy for me to cancel on a whim. I could see what my Dr says, last night she got me into an “as needed” counselor that only met once a month. So, she would probably know more that would met more regularly.
I don’t think I’ve heard of those videos. I’ll have to look them up.
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Here’s one. They are short and very bingeable: https://youtu.be/0Bu6FK815LE?feature=shared
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Day 21. One day closer to a full month! I’m definitely feeling the “itch” to have a drink or a shot, but I know it wouldn’t be just one. I’m trying to pick up my hobbies to occupy my time, but I feel like I have no drive to do anything, even the hobbies I was doing more recently, it’s like everything just feels empty.
I can’t wait to get home from work, the store has been quiet with the winter storm warning. I’m making a list of counselors that will take my insurance and I’m looking into how much my copay will be for my meds - I’m sure that has something to do with my low mood.
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I understand that. If I have to call the insurance company or a tradesperson, I will stress about it for a week or more. I’m getting better, but I still hate it.
You will get your energy and drive back. Give it a little time to turn around. It sounds like it’s been a wintery week with some unpleasant tasks, that you have managed to do. That might sap some of your strength. But you know that adding alcohol will do absolutely nothing productive to improve your situation. Most likely, it will actively hurt matters. At times like these, I try to tell my alcoholic brain to f*#! off. The “itch” is familiar, but it’s not your friend.
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Hey you are doing great. Congrats on 21 days.
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Day 24. I’m finding myself chewing gum almost nonstop. I don’t know if it’s anxiety or just needing something to do to take my mind off of alcohol. I’m definitely distracted day to day and I’m restless when I’m at home. I’m still trying to pickup my hobbies again, which I’m doing a little every day.
I know that it’s going to take time for my brain to even out, but I wish it would hurry up 
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What are your hobbies? I read and watch movies, but that’s usually work-related.
What are you doing for positive steps to grow your sobriety? There’s lots to try, reading, groups, podcasts etc. Read around here and you will discover that hobbies and distraction work only for so long and when cravings are more or less quiet. We need strength, not rest, when it comes to getting sober. Which is weird, because at the beginning we all feel so drained.
I like building Warhammer minis. I haven’t started painting them yet, but I hope to soon. I write a little bit. Before going sober I was getting into Tarot more seriously, but I haven’t touched my decks in a couple of weeks.
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I don’t know anything about Tarot, but since you are also a writer, you might be interested in Italo Calvino’s Tarot-inspired novel, Castle of Crossed Destinies. Calvino was a writer who employed various constraints to spur his creativity. Here’s the book description: A group of road-weary travelers convene first in a castle, then a tavern. After passing through a forest on their journey, their powers of speech are mysteriously taken from them. As each traveler attempts to tell the story of how they got here, they must relay on tarot cards instead of words. What follows is an exquisite interlinking of narratives, and a fantastic, surreal and chaotic history of all human consciousness. The Castle of Crossed Destinies is a bold and singular work, a stunning exploration of the visual and the verbal, from one of the most celebrated experimental authors of all time.
Featuring reproductions of fifteenth-century tarot cards
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Hey, @ScarletWhisper . How’s it going? Haven’t seen any posts from you in a few days, so I wanted to reach out. Hope you are well.
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Hey y’all! I haven’t checked in on here for a while. My mood and motivation has been pretty low. I haven’t been able to get my meds refilled due to my budget. My commission job has been super slow. My apartment is a disaster zone right now. I feel like I just can’t get a head.
But, I’ve been sober 30 days! I feel like this is the one good thing I have going for me right now. I’ll try to check in more often, maybe that will improve my mood.
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Congratulations that is awesome! Happy for you 
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Congratulations. That’s something to be proud of. I’m sorry about the other problems you are dealing with, but you know you’re in a better place to tackle them when you’re sober.
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Day 31: I met a friend for lunch today. I see him almost every day and we meet up twice a week for lunch, but it still never fails to lift my spirits.
While at lunch there was a couple of guys sitting near us, one of which was fairly drunk (one of our favorite spots for food is also a bar) and talking about how he regularly goes to AA meetings drunk. I tried not to eavesdrop, but it was really disheartening to hear especially since I’ve been looking at what meetings are available in my area.
I know he is only one person and not the norm, but idk. It just made me really rethink doing in person meetings. My area is a big drinking city, and I just don’t think I would be successful going to the in person meetings here, secular or not.
Just a small rant I’ve been thinking about today.
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I find that Tea is also a lovely substitute. In Ireland we commonly drink black tea with a drop of milk. Look up some Barrys Tea or a similar product for your region.
As for the gym, you don’t need specific clothing, okay, Jeans won’t be comfortable but tracksuit pants and a hoodie will do just fine to begin with.
I hope all is well.
Day 33. Yesterday was an okay day. Work was a bit frustrating, but I met friends at a Chinese buffet for dinner and that was nice.
I’m hoping today at work is better. It’s pretty quiet so far, so fingers crossed. The plan is to do my best at work, continue researching meetings in my area and online, continue researching counselors for individual therapy, and finding time to relax by meditating or Tarot.
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Day 34. Today was a pretty good day. Not bad, not great, but completely fine. I’m okay with a fine day. I have d&d every Tuesday, and I really look forward it. It’s nice to get together with friends and play make-believe with math for a few hours a week.
Tomorrow I have off, so my goal is to get one room clean by the end of the day.
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