Yeah so I’m one of the historically harsh/judgmental people. I’m not being harsh or judgmental here but just reading what you have written as you have written it. So heads up.
I don’t think its a bad thing that Family Services are investigating you - Like you said, you were trying to do the right thing, right? Family Services wont look at it as 2 people who were trying to do the right thing. They’ll be looking at it as “We have a 5 year old living with 2 people who have come forward for help getting sober - Is the 5 year old safe in this environment?” It isn’t their job to be compassionate for you; it’s their job to ensure the wellbeing of a child in a potentially dangerous environment.
In my opinion, this isn’t the right way to look at it. If you’d have kept on your destructive path, trouble would’ve come of it - Inevitably. And probably far far worse because that’s the nature of a destructive path.
In my opinion, the people who you approached were just doing their job and probably acted responsibly and I also think that while you feel the system may have failed you, the system has done what it is meant to do and looked out for the wellbeing of your daughter which must feel bittersweet given that you’ve reached out to get sober.
Feeling worried at the possibility of losing access to your daughter is totally understandable in this situation. Let that be your motivation to throw everything into your sobriety work. Come out stronger on the other side.
You gotta be clear here, crystal clear: your enemy is your addiction. It’s not people, it’s not government, it’s not anybody else. Your enemy, that you’re boxing, the one your fighting here, is your addiction.
Beat your addiction, and you can’t lose. Nothing else matters. You beat your addiction and everything else will fall into place.
Go win. You know what you need to do. Go win your fight
I know their job is to consider the well being of the child, that’s what worries me. I don’t want her taken from me, she is my everything.
I mentioned staying on a destructive path in sarcasm because looking for help didn’t work.
I’m so sorry my daughter has a fuck up of a Mother. I just want to get better and stay with her. I love her so much.
Hey hey Forgive me but I’m a little confused about the intent of the post. Did you want opinions on the system? Or opinions on what you should do as a result of what happened? Opinion s on alcohol recovery options? It’s kind of vague to me. Maybe it’s more of a vent? I could understand venting for sure when you feel you’re doing the right thing. Maybe some clarification of what you’re asking of us will create more constructive answers.
Btw you are not trying to help me by questioning my efforts and sincerity to stay sober. And the reason I said I’m sorry my daughter has a fuck of a Mother is because that’s what it seems some people on here are pushing for me to say
You may have said it sarcastically but there is an element of truth behind every piece of sarcasm otherwise sarcasm wouldn’t work. And you’re not wrong - You could’ve stayed on a destructive path but you didn’t because you want the best for your daughter. That’s a good thing!
There is no doubt at all from anyone responding to this thread that you don’t want her taken away from you and that you love her and you want her to stay with you. I very highly doubt anyone here also believes your daughter should be taken from you given that you’ve both sought help and are taking the steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen.
It sounds to me like its not the system failing you that is pissing you off; it sounds to me like you’re worried about a possible worst case scenario and you’re well within your rights to be worried about it. Best thing you can do is cooperate and stay sober which i’m pretty sure you’re planning to do anyway.
I don’t know where in the world you are, but in the UK the hospital staff would have a legal duty to report that kind of thing to social services. Remember that they are following a procedure, it isn’t personal, and the procedure is there to protect children from potentially risky situations.
I can totally understand that family services being involved is not the type of response you wanted, and to be worried about what could come next. But, as others have said this could be an opportunity… You don’t know how it will turn out but it is in motion now so you’ve got to go with it. Jump through whatever hoops you need to and get the support that’s on offer. I hope this is the foundation for a healthy, happy life for you and your family
If your drinking really is just in the evenings after she has gone to bed and you don’t get rolling drunk, and if there is nothing else going on that you haven’t mentioned here but did mention to the counselling programme, then surely family services will be satisfied that your daughter is in a safe place. It’s not being screwed by the system, it’s the system carrying out the proper checks-it’s a good thing that will save children from harm!
And your little girl means the world to you right? So if this gets you on a path for a better treatment of your addiction then that can only be a positive for you and her.
Your sister sounds incredibly mature and wise to ask for help, and your family sounds so supportive. I wish I’d had similar when I was a kid with brutal depression instead of parents that just ignored it was happening.
My child is completely fine in my care. I don’t want family services taking her to God knows where, anything could happen to her. What if she got molested by some “Carer” or something. No thank you very much, we’ll do fine with our baby at home with us where she belongs.
Take it as what you asked for extra support it will always be personal when it involves our kids but they maybe be able to signpost your family in a direction to help you all, as from first hand experience it effects our lite ones even if we don’t thi k it does in on shape or form, be honest and you can’t go far wrong. X nobody’s questioning your parenting just making sure everyone OK, I get it I’ve had social in n out my child’s life twice in 20years it’s always personel. There their to help as are we love lots, remember your good parents
Yeah, I’ve had a mental shift. Maybe I can use it as an opportunity to find a Counselling service rather than just fearing losing my child but if that happens I WILL feel devastated and punished for trying to do the right thing.
Seek out steps to well being bei g Pro active can never be looked down upon don’t get into a trap of thinking the world is against you as its you that’s against you, your doing all the right things, don’t pick up be pro avtuve keep honest it will come out OK. You can’t change what hasn’t happened I feel your worry. Xx
I totally understand your panic over this. I have a 6 year old and my catastophising brain would be having a field day if this happened to us… of course you’re going to be thinking of the worse case scenario.
Thing is though, CPS arent child snatchers. They wont take your child away unless ABSOLUTELY necessary and from what you’ve posted on here… it doesn’t sound necessary at all.
The hospital staff were just doing their job, they had to report it, it’s just the way the system works. It’s a ‘ticky’ box to them. Yeah I get it would feel like a knife in your heart and that you’re both worried but try not to catastrophise over this.
Facts are (as far as I can see);
You went to the hospital FOR HELP. (Which shows you are trying and willing to get better)
The hospital had report it as they also have a duty of care towards a child (your daughter) and that’s just what they do… ticky box for them.
Now the CPS are involved; they may do some home visits, ask what’s going on and find out what kind of help you both need, and because of CPS you’ll get fast tracked to that help. This is only a good thing!
As long as your daughter is loved, clean, happy, well fed and has an otherwise good environment, CPS will not take her away. They do all they can to keep families together before adding yet another child into the care system. So work with them.
Be open and honest, talk to them about your worries! They are there to help your family. That’s what they want to do. Not just to take a child away from an already loving family, with mother and father just needing some help along the way.
Yes their job is to protect children, but one of the most damaging things to a child is to be ripped away from their loving families and thrown into the care system. So they do all they can to help the family before this happens because its not in the child’s best interest. It’s a last resort.
Work with them. Dont be hostile or fight against them and I think you’ll come to find this will be a really positive thing for your family.
I feel that. I can’t imagine a 10 year old telling me they wanted to kill themselves and me just laughing it off and never bringing it up again, but that’s what my parents did for years.
Get to a meeting,. I went down the road of telling doctors and stuff to get help,it wasn’t supportive and just like what is happening to you I had social services on my case…in fellowships you get support unlike the un-support you get from ‘services’…you’d be understood…“sought help through doctors, psychiatry,etc…”. have a read of the AA blue book… could possibly see it online…
I thought I was doing ‘the right thing’ by speaking with doctors…oh no…I’ve tried by myself for years and with this app to stay sober and clean…never worked either…I have to hear how people stay off their drug of choice, how they do it, what keeps them clean and sober…?..I want what they have,… doctors don’t understand that, nor do social services…but millions of people worldwide help each other, with stories like yours, in online fellowships, aswell as here.
Forgive me but I’m a little confused about the intent of the post. Did you want opinions on the system? Or opinions on what you should do as a result of what happened? Opinion s on alcohol recovery options? It’s kind of vague to me. Maybe it’s more of a vent? I could understand venting for sure when you feel you’re doing the right thing. Maybe some clarification of what you’re asking of us will create more constructive answers.
