I feel really betrayed by the system and at a loss as what to do.
What happened was, last year my partner and I were getting Counselling for alcohol. Then the pandemic hit and we both got really depressed and anxious and started drinking again. Now, we have a 5 year old daughter but we don’t drink until she goes to sleep, besides we never get rolling drunk…Anyway, we tried many times to get sober but eventually decided we couldn’t do it on our own. We wanted to get really serious about sobriety, so we decided to contact the hospital to start an outpatient detox program and then Counselling. We went there to get help! And they treated us like criminals and drug tested us then reported us to family services for drinking because we have a 5 year old.
Now we have family services coming to investigate us when we were trying to do the right thing…Basically we could have kept on our destructive path and no trouble would have come to us. It’s like, what do you want us to do keep drinking…???
.Now, I know from the past some people on here can get quite harsh and judgemental. I ask that there is no harsh judgements but opinions are welcome. Cheers.
It might be hard to see how amazing this could be for your family… but this could be a huge blessing in disguise and in a while you could be thanking your lucky stars this happened… however we are here today, and today sucks. I’m sorry.
In an ideal world, what’s the best outcome this could provide you? What does that look like for you and your family?
I’m sorry your are going through this. Yes this is hard, yes you were doing the right thing. You can’t blame the hospital tho, and I wouldn’t say you were screwed by the system. They are making sure you can take care of your 5 year old daughter. Even if neither of you were getting completely drunk, are you going to able to rush her to the hospital if something happens to her even in the middle of the night. The hospital is doing there job. Now you guys have to do your jobs not blame the system, get the help you need and really be there for your daughter. I’m not passing judgment, I was a lay down drunk who use to sleep or leave his girls home alone to go get drugs.
You’re right. It could be a blessing in disguise, thanks for pointing that out because I am now going to ask family services if they can refer us to a Counsellor BUT it won’t be a blessing if I lose my baby girl!
I see your point but honestly what’s the point of offering ‘help’ if they are just going to get us in trouble. We were doing the right thing and committing to sobriety.
Was your partner able to attend a group for his gambling addiction last year? (You mentioned it in your threads last summer) Where is he on treating that?
He did attend a gambling group. His gambling is no longer out of control.
It doesn’t mean your in trouble. Someone cares that’s all, put yourself in a hospital workers situation, if they sent you guys home with this little girl and something did happen, she got killed or who knows. And you were that worker, would u be able to sleep at night.
Now when the case worker comes just be honest with them, show them you guys are good parents who deserve your daughter but also need the help. I’ve also had several occasions with cps and never once lost my girls, all while still getting wasted every night. They won’t just come and rip her from you unless they actually see a reason. Honesty will you set you free. Pray on it and work for sobriety, I know you can much love
I hate AA but thanks
Ok that’s reassuring, thanks.
How about the finances? There were loan sharks last year, etc; that web is a process to untangle and then to grow healthier, stabler financial habits. It’s all interconnected addictions (moving back and forth from one to another).
Lea asked a good question above: what do you picture as the ideal result here for your family? Is it having a stable family life? That’s a nice vision to have. There are building blocks that can make that possible. Healthy emotional and behaviour patterns you two can build. Do you have some sober friends and group members or counsellors who are working with you guys to build those? 
Right i get it, you were just hoping everyone was gonna take your side. Sorry, my vision is a little more clear now. Someone says try a.a… I hate a.a but thanks you say, shows me you obviously aren’t willing to do w.e it takes to stay sober for your daughter… A.A wouldn’t of called cps on you. So don’t blame the system blame yourself
We are slowly getting back on our feet with finances.
Yes ideally we want a happy, healthy, stable life but like I just explained we couldn’t get the Counselling we seeked out because the hospital reported us. Hopefully family services won’t be a threat and will be able to help us get the help we need.
No need to be a smart arse. No, I wasn’t just hoping everyone was going to take my side, I was wanting to hear of some other people’s opinions on the matter and I did get some helpful insight.
Just because I hate AA doesn’t mean I don’t want help. I go to SMART RECOVERY meetings
Fingers crossed. Life has a way of giving us what we need wrapped in a package that sometimes we don’t recognize. The nice thing about groups (there are many different types - check out here: Resources for our recovery) is they have all the parts of counseling - people talking, sharing, walking a path, going over steps, structure - but they’re free. So when moneys tight, groups are a path that works to build the skills we need to have stable family time.
You’ve got everything you need to move forward one step at a time. I bet you’re nervous or worried or maybe there’s stuff you wish could be different - lord knows that’s how anyone would feel. But take it one day at a time and keep an open mind, you’ll find what you need.
Yes it’s hard. Do it anyway (Just like sweeping the floor or doing the dishes! 
Oh how life is like parenting sometimes: yes it’s not what we wanted - do it anyway! This will be a good story to tell yo ur daughter when she’s older - how you made things work, by buckling down and doing what needed to be done. You’re a good mom and you’re doing the right thing by getting the job done )
Not being a smart ass. Just trying to help push you towards the right direction. When I was stuck in addiction, I always said I wanted to change but didn’t really. So I wouldn’t try, a.a. or anything I always said I could do it on my own. Once I actually just about lost every damn thing, expect my two beautiful girls thank God. I was ready to do w.e it took, and that included a.a even tho I hated it… I don’t attend them much now, but they did help me. I hope whatever path you chose if helps and I will pray for you and your family. You guys deserve a fun sober life.
Thanks for such a lovely, encouraging post and for the resources. I’ll definitely look in to them.
But AA is not the right direction for me. I am completely willing and keen to get sober but I don’t need to do something I don’t agree with like AA in order to do that. There are other options.
True. Do your thing, like I said I hope all turns out well. Have a good night and I hope to hear some good news from you. Take care
I’m just worried about losing my daughter for trying to get help. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that and family services might even be able to help us.