I am done. So done. I have chosen to become sober again starting today. This is the 2nd time without alcohol but 1st time without Marijuana.
I don’t know how I’m going to tell my partner. He is an alcoholic too but he won’t admit it. I have figured out what to say but can’t bring myself to tell him that I NEED to stop drinking and smoking weed. I need to be sober.
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Have you a support network around, family and friends that don’t drink, have you considerd going to your local drug and alcohol support services also AA meetings or smart recovery to make new sober friends, this forum is full of insightful threads written by ppl at all diffrent stages of recovery. Welcome your in a safe space.
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You have chosen to become sober for yourself - as you said, you
You can have a short, calm conversation with him - maybe at a good time of day, if you prefer (your choice) - and make that clear. You still care about him, but you also care about yourself - which you should - and you need to do this.
Then - you do it.
There’s lots of good resources, including podcasts, books, and recovery groups, here:
This will be a learning curve for you as you get started on the road to recovery. It will not happen overnight and you have to take it one day at a time, don’t get overwhelmed. Be gentle with yourself and if it helps you cab remember this simple rule: you are allowed to do anything that’s safe and legal, to stay sober. Eat pizza three days in a row? Ok. Binge watch a Netflix show? Fine. Walk for hours listening to podcasts and music? Fine.
It’s all good, as long as it’s safe, legal, and sober. The emotions will be up and down and occasionally you will get thoughts of using. They will pass. Say to yourself, “I am having a thought of using.” See it, acknowledge it. It will pass. They all eventually do.
Do that one day at a time, and work your recovery daily, and you will get there.
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Just be honest. Make sure you tell him when he is sober… In the morning?
He will either be supportive or not. Remember this is for you and his relationship with drugs and alcohol is his own.
Do not allow his behavior to dictate yours. Write down how you are feeling now and why you dont want to drink or smoke any more. When times get tough refer back to what you wrote.
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Don’t drink or smoke, if he asks what’s up, you gotta take a break because it’s killing you.
It’s no picnic getting sober, but it’s doable.
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spoiler alert - if all goes to plan with your recovery ( I don’t like the word if but it fits the sentence) at some point your going to resent your partner and think your better off without. REMEMBER - You are the one who will be changing not anybody else, It’s their choice what they do and its their habit not yours. I quit drink and drugs and lived with someone who carried on drinking and smoking and its hard at times when it was in the house and I was left alone with it but it can be done. BTW my partner is now over 3 months sober so set a good example and more often than not other people get fed up partying alone and start to look at themselves.
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