Doing everything right it seems, started therapy, working out, even back to eating regularly , but I’m still having a hard time with the “big scary” thoughts.
Sorry to be whining, but I just hope this all gets better
12 Likes
You are not whining my friend. Good job on reaching out. Those strong cravings wont be so strong forever. It gets better but you have to go thru the storm to get to the other side. That being said in early sobriety my strategy was distraction and accountability. Checking in here daily multiple times. Celebrate each 24hours addiction didnt claw me back to a hopeless cycle. I would take walks, listen to podcasts, ask people from aa out for coffee, sleep lots
You can do this just dont quit quitting
8 Likes
Thanks Cjp, I really appreciate your kind words. I’m also finding that I keep getting caught in negative thought patterns, like “you are never going to feel okay again” etc.
Trying to focus on doing what I can each day, exercise, nutrition and day to day responsibilities to feel better
4 Likes
Positive affirmations and recovery elevator podcasts gave me hope
3 Likes
Awesome! Thanks for the suggestions:)
You rock!
1 Like
Keep doing everything you are doing friend. The “big scary” thoughts are rough to deal with but they do get easier. The more days you stack up and the more urges you fight off – the stronger you get!
Keep going strong 
7 Likes
Thanks team, your support means so so much
2 Likes
It will get better. It is a lot of work and a lot of change, but it is definitely worth it.
Keep building it up, one day at a time. You are setting yourself free of your addiction. You can do this and you will get better.
I wish you peace.
6 Likes
You’re not whining. You’re healing.
4 Likes
Thank you, it’s so comforting having you folks to work along side
3 Likes
Wishing you peace and comfort too.
Thank you so much for your support
1 Like
Thanks for the podcast suggestion 
3 Likes
Just think of those thoughts as a boss fight in a video game. Overcome that, the spoils are worth it. Good luck Refresh!!!
5 Likes
Love this analogy!
1 Like
You are not alone, hang in here 
The thoughts will change. Some will fade, others will come along. Like every big change in life it is a lot of uncomfortable transformation that has to take place before the new patterns, habits, attitudes, approaches and routines are well settled. Give yourself time, be kind and gentle to yourself, one day a time from minute to minute. Vent away when it gets hard & heavy, laugh and smile about little things in life, spoil yourself with rest and relax, sounds you are doing a lot to get better and stay sober. Thoughts are like clouds, they come and go, sometimes it’s dark grey and heavy thunderstorm, sometimes it’s blue sky with happy little white cloudspots.
Wishing you a nice, calm, peaceful day 
2 Likes
Wow, what a wonderful message to wake up to. Thank you for providing your support and I also hope your journey and recovery are filled with peace and love
1 Like
When I felt this way, I was told to put my pants or shoes on differently. It felt aukward putting my left shoe or left pants leg on first instead of the right side. But I learned to get used to it. In the same way, we can get used to living sober, having sober thoughts, and watching our drinking life become a thing of the past.
There’s nothing wrong with doing life the right way, and if we act as if, good thoughts will follow.
6 Likes
Now this is not the end.
It is not even the beginning of the end.
But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
-Winston Churchill.
1 Like
Not winning at all.
This may sound silly but what worked for me is putting an image to those big scary thoughts and once I had an image it became a little less big and a little less scary. I was able attack parts of it. Example if the image is a monster, how does this monster walk? How does it sound? What does it think? How does it survive? Once I had a bit more understanding and a shit load of pain from dealing bits of it. It started loosing its power, it presented itself less, what I’m trying is it gets easier. I am sure today is easier for you than any of the days from the first week.
I wish you the best! You are worth it and it’s never wining when you’re amongst people who understand the thoughts.
Take care and give care,
1 Like
Here’s my post from earlier today. You are not alone:
Hi Team, today I’m feeling a bit down. As I write this I recognize I sound like a complainer.
I am being troubled by regret over losing my family. Specifically, getting divorced in 2017 due to my selfish actions. The pain I caused to my ex-wife and our children. It still haunts me and I can’t get rid of it. The relationship I’ve been in since 2019 has also just ended. Again on my account due to selfishness in substance abuse.
I am almost 50 and to have this much wreckage and starting all over again with no family (apart from kids) and limited support network. Angry and frustrated I find myself in yet another situation where I am suffering and have caused suffering as a result of my actions which are a result of all the crap in my subconscious mind. My hurting soul.
I just want peace and happiness. Joy and laughter. Safety and stability. To get out of my past. To stop letting myself think I’m washed up or a failure or a bad person. To enjoy a healthy and loving relationship with a woman. To not worry about the future or finances. To be a trustworthy and dependable father to my kids.
1 Like