Interesting take, though that wasnāt my experience with my addiction, nor has that been the experience of many others whose stories Iāve heard. There are plenty of women Iāve listened to who weāre sex addicts yet didnāt always orgasm. One woman whose story I heard today was on several dating apps, was with a different man every day of the week, and never had experienced an orgasmā¦ As a man, it didnāt happen often for me but I still acted out numerous times without one.
In my experience, my addiction was rooted in continuing to engage in self-destructive behaviors despite increasingly negative consequences, and as a result having an unmanageable life.
Your statement tells me that you donāt believe it is orgasm that makes sex addictive. Iām just going to disagree with you and let it go. Thank you for your perspective. Iām here to recover, not argue. Iāve never once acted out without orgasm as the goal.
Just like there are many roads to addiction, I believe there are many roads to recovery, so I try not to think in such black and white terms of what is and what isnāt. All I know is my truth.
One key I also believe is to find the root cause of acting out. Glad you found yours, and Iām sure it will help others find their root cause.
If I may, I would like to note as an objective participant that both of you, @RBG & @NealRecoveryCA, have impacted me with your perspectives & your practice, and I am grateful for them. I think it may be helpful for me to note here that the two of you have radically different philosophies on recovery. I suspect thatās behind some of whatās been in the last few posts here.
For what itās worth, I want to say I find interest and value in both of the many posts & threads Iāve read from the two of you. I suspect what is happening here has to do probably more with some subtle point of grammar, like āthe realityā vs. āa realityā - I think it may be possible to adopt a live-and-let-live approach in this case.
Wishing you all peace today & Iām grateful for the chance to learn from you both
Well, understand that my conversation with Chris was going nowhere, and I was desperate to reach a conclusion. I still donāt know what it was all about.
No worries, I understand I appreciate you taking the time to engage & answer as much as you did. Keep sharing about your experiences! And keep up that creative stuff too. This thread is one of my faves: Crocheters, Knitters, and the like
87 PMO
8 dreams
7 craving
I thought my craving streak was going to end today. I was exploring YouTube for porn addiction recovery. Now I think I remember why I didnāt do this sooner. There was some mention of porn genres, including the one I was into. So I had to use the āoff switchā. It was an innocent mistake. I donāt intend to test my tolerance.
At the moment Iām trying to fall in love with sketching. I have bought myself pencils & a sketchbook and I am playing around with shape. Itās still early days; I am experimenting with different strokes & different pencils; also, I am experimenting with representing my world simply using three basic shapes: squares/rectangles, circles, and triangles.
I am in bed now or I would snap you a photo - Iāll share it tomorrow
A sketch from yesterday. Ultimately I want to carve a book into some wood I have in my basement - leftover cedar from a fence post. I want to engrave it with this article from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. Itās a gift for a friend doing work in literacy.
I should do more of this. I have a hunch that I would be surprised at my skill if I made it a daily exercise. When I do ear training the skill develops kind of magically. We donāt know our potential.
I just thought of an interesting exercise. Take an object, such as the chair, and sketch it everyday for a while. Observe how your skill develops
Willpower will only take you so far though. I know all about images. It takes only one to send you into a feedback loop. Only by complete abstinence and avoidance have I gained control. If you can keep your hands busy, your mind will follow.
