Ok so here I go, my name is Mat and I am a male 23 years old.
This will be the first time I ever have posted on any recovery forum and I kinda find that sad because I have been in active addiction for nearly 11 years. It started when I was about 11 or 12 years old and my parents were getting divorced and I was kinda forgotten about being the youngest of three siblings. Being left to my own devices allowed me to explore the internet for things that would make my heart go fast and so the beginning to my porn addiction (P) started. Jumping forward to high school I started to actually talk to girls with more intention of being there boyfriend and this is when I met Jay, now Jay was troubled and craved attention and I was more than willing to give said attention so we begin seeing each other and it wouldn’t take long before we had our first intimate hang out. All the while I was watching P and masturbating (M) two to four times a day. Throughout highschool I continued to see Jay but I wasn’t always dating her we were friends with benefits while I dated other women. I cheated on four girls while I was on highschool, including my wife. I met my current wife while in highschool and we started dating in grade 12. Her name will be A. A moved to a bigger city to start university and I stayed back and worked a year before joining her but in that year I say Jay often and we would still be intimate with each other and I would tell A that I wasn’t even talking to her. It was only when I moved out to be with A that the pile of lies started to tumble down. I slowly started telling A more and more about what I was doing and that I was even then still talking and sharing pictures with Jay. I was very cruel tho and didn’t tell A everything all at once. Instead I told her everything over the course of a year just about. This was the definition of hell on earth for the both of us.
There is lots still there to talk about but long story short I am still married to A and now have a 3 month old daughter whom I need to be there for and I need help staying on track with my recovery so I really am looking for an accountability partner whom I can talk with and help them if they help me. I am looking to talk to another man for obvious reasons and am open to just start on my recovery constantly
Welcome! This a the greatest place to find support to get and stay sober! Have you got a plan?
Welcome Mathieu! Glad u found us. I dont particularly have experience with that addiction BUT there are alot of people on here that do! Im sure they would be able to give u some suggestions to help!
Hi Mat, my name is also Matt and I am a sexaholic. I am addicted to lust: chasing the thrill, the high of the next sexual experience. Like you, my addiction has made me unfaithful; like you, my sex addiction has been completely unmanageable: it’s been chaos, which I am still dealing with today.
I am not available personally to do the kind of accountability you are looking for, but I would recommend you seek out one of the sex addiction recovery groups. You will find what you are looking for there, so that you can be the man, spouse, and father you want to be.
Any of those three groups is relevant to your condition. Personally I am a member of SA (www.SA.org), and in that group I have found many men who understood exactly what I am going through and are able to empathize with me, support me, and be supported by me.
This is something you should speak with a knowledgeable, sober sex addict about, preferably someone with at least (I would suggest) four years of sobriety. The way a spouse or partner is told about sex addiction behaviours - about your acting out and infidelity - is important. There is likely a very significant amends for you to do here, as a result of how you disclosed this.
Welcome to Talking Sober!
Thank you so much for the resources
Hi Mat,
I appreciate your share.
I’ll DM you
Welcome to this great group of people Mathieu. Your story sounds so similar to mine, I’m new here as well and just completed my first month without giving in the evils of my addiction. I wish i had the courage to do this when i was 23 as you have right now. All the best in your recovery and to a brighter healthier future. You’ll find some great understanding and helpful folks here and it’s been a big help for me so for. The journaling aspect of it has also been helpful if thats something you’re thinking of trying out.