What are some of your experiences with this?
None yet! Haha
In the past 6 years I have only had sex drunk. If someone tried to initiate sex when I was sober or hungover I always felt too awkward or weird.
If I went on a date I got a bit drunk beforehand and then totally wasted during the date. If my date didnāt drink I lost interest immediately. Most of the time I was having sex so drunk I could barely remember anything the next day.
Sooo ⦠I guess that was bad. Now Iām really nervous to have sex for the first time sober, it really feels like Iāll be losing my virginity again. Haha. Oh man
I canāt even imagine it. It will have to be with someone I really trust.
I can completely relate lol itās definitely like starting over for me.
Take your time ⦠Trust me
I do remember thinking it would be harder sober after getting used to using alcohol but I believe itās a lot better especially morning sex.
Hungover, morning sex is one of the bad experiences I think back on in order to remind myself how crappy drinking was. You have a wonderful partner available right where you want them. Many people would be grateful for that wouldnāt they? However your brain is only partly there, some of your body parts are numb from the throbbing in your head and your bladder is killing you. That is not sexy.
Keep in mind, as your body heals, you will become more fertile! I ended up pregnant after getting sober. The drugs and alcohol I was on before must have suppressed my fertility while using, and because I had never gotten prego while being caressless with protection before, I thought the pull out method was sufficient lol. It wasnāt.
At first it seemed really weird, the longer Iāve been sober the better the sexā¦just my experience
Depending on the situation I can see it being a healthy thing. Itās a great way to burn stress and re amp on the other side, it can cause unwanted complications so cautious decision making is always the best route. I personally am all for it.
Thatās funny fishy i got exactly the same āproblemā planing to have 1 year no drinks drugs and sex and then i will see how it will be soeber. Hope it will still happen then ![]()
Sober sex is the best!
Well this hits a nervous point for me. After 23 years of marriage (last 3 we have been separated). I have only been with my ex so as we prepare for divorce I have thought about it but I sure donāt have the answers. Itās been way to long but I am a male so I do have the desire. Iāve been told no relationship for a year and that leaves one night stands. I donāt want to take advantage of someone so Iām lost too.
Wow that felt good to let out.
Sex?..Does that still exist?..I thought they stopped making that stuff years agoā¦![]()
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Codependency is a mother fucker for sure. 2 sober drunks ? Careful nowā¦
This topic has been on my mind lately and I frankly have not had the guts to bring it up.
deep breath
For those of us who have experienced trauma (read: me), itās a little terrifying. My walls are back up. My husband puts his arm around me to cuddle at night and I get a small jolt of fear just because itās a response to an unexpected touch. Iām having trouble relaxing and I keep making up excuses. I wonāt get super into detailā¦but itās really annoying and I really donāt know how to fix it.
For me being open and honest with my man was the key. He then understood where I was coming from and was patient and gentle with me. He gave me time and never expected anything if I was not ready or nervous. ![]()
Same here. Itās hard to imagine how I will be comfortable with anyone touching me sober.
When I was having sex drunk I wasnāt even really aware, most of the time I just wasnāt really there and I usually felt disgusted afterwards if I remembered it at all.
When I imagine doing it sober I cringe. I started to avoid my regular sex partners as Iām not ready to deal with this issue yet. Iām going to therapy now, so I hope this problem will be solved some day. But I feel like itās going to demand a lot of work on my future partnerās part as well and that makes me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, like I was always āa wild promiscuous loverā (= absolutely drunk + great acting skills + great at dissociation) and now Iāll have to be truly me and face who I really am and how I really feel about sex. Yikes.
āSex is natural Sex is fun. Sex is best when itās one on oneā⦠Iām sorry, I couldnāt resist the late great George Michael song reference. Also the song that helped me lose my virginity⦠lol.
I love sober sex! Itās more intimate, exciting and it feels better. My husband probably liked me drunk during sex in our early years bahahaha. Over time my drinking got worse and Iād be passed out by sexy time. Since i started recovery we have that special pep in our step much more often;) ![]()
Hubby and I recently had our first sober sex in a very long time and it was great! I was present and not thinking about whether we had beer or if I needed to sneak off to the store! Drunk sex was always fun but I just wasnāt there, you know?
I would recommend being cautious in new relationships and not rushing anything. We all need time to heal after spending so much time poisoning ourselves ![]()