Too the fellow sex and love addicts on here. What do you do when your watching a film and you come across a sex scene. I actively avoid films I know will feature it but you don’t allways find out until it’s too late.
I don’t watch movies all that often for some reason. I used to a lot, but if I’m going to be watching a movie, and I’m not sure about the content Because the rating is above a certain level, I’ll usually check imdb for the parental guidance section. They’re usually pretty thorough (sometimes over the top, but I’d prefer that to not enough). Hope that helps!
yes better safe than sorry…i would also try to completely avoid that film…btw Indian films are also getting dirty these days…
If its too late and if i drank the first drink then sure it may lead me to relapse…and i try to watch it with others and i feel more triggered when watching alone and also lust hates light
I am choosy with my PG-13 movies that I watch and almost exclusively don’t watch R. If something comes along I close my eyes, look away, fast forward… etc.
It’s unfortunate, because TV and movies are just riddled with sexual content now. For a sec addict like myself, there’s no escaping it. It’s all about control and filling myself with virtuous things.
Not a sex, love, or lust addict. Just a man trying to live a chaste life. When I encounter a sex scene in a movie or show, I fast forward through it. Ok. They had sex. Part of the plot or gratuitous, I don’t need to see it. Jump to the next scene and get on with the story.
As far as movies at the theater, I’m past the point in life where I need the “big screen experience”. But I do take my daughter and her friends to the movies, so I’m watching age-appropriate stuff. Don’t need the ability to fast forward.
I kinda miss the way they did it back in the 50’s and 60’s. Sex was implied. You knew what happened, even without seeing it, and it wasn’t gratuitously thrown in to show off some budding starlets assets.
Some people have boundaries. I have guardrails. Guardrails are set back from the danger. Closer to the road, than to the cliff. I don’t struggle with porn, or sexual compulsions, not because I am different from every other man. Quite the contrary, I’ve put up guardrails, because I am like every other man. Subject to temptations, vulnerable to flattery, driven to pursue that which I want.
It is self-discipline in pursuit of self-mastery that made me want to put up guardrails. It is the strong belief that when my wife and I said “I do”, she became the rightful owner of my desire and energy. Indulging even my thoughts on someone else, be they flesh and blood or some digital image, is stealing from her. At least that’s the way I see it. Your mileage may vary.
Stay strong and chaste, my brothers and sisters.
Indeed. What is even more disturbing is when I watch a movie from the 1980’s and realize how much gratuitous sex and drugs are glorified therein, and then realize that it was so prevalent that it didn’t even register with me at the time. I can’t imagine what being a teen or young adult in the connected age is being subjected to.
Thanks for the advice. I do really enjoy art house and indie films but it does frustrate me that they allways seem to throw in a ten minute sex scene somewhere. I agree I think the implication is enough. I’ll check idmb before hand ️
It is. Too nice to be watching movies any way
Love it
Wow where is that?
No way that’s not far from me. I still haven’t been before
I’ll leave tomorrow . I only live in Bristol so not too far at all
If is a trigger stop watching and do something else, a movie is not worth your sobriety.
I almost chimed in here yesterday, but I really don’t want to give advice that would lead someone to relapse. What follows is what is working for me right now, and I’m sure it won’t work for everyone, just sharing my experience.
When I’m trying to decide what to watch, I think about why I want to see it. There are a lot of things I won’t watch because the title, cover art, previews, etc are unnecessarily sexual in nature. But you’re right Sophie, some things surprise you. So, at this point I see two options for myself A) stop watching things rated PG-13 and up, or B) apply my program and learn to process things in a way that doesn’t end with me acting out.
So when an unexpected sex scene presents itself in a movie, I avert/close my eyes. And when it’s over I am intentional about where my thoughts are. I surrender any lingering lustful thoughts, I stay present in this reality, and if it really is a trigger point I reach out to someone in my program.
I am taking this approach because I know I can’t hide from sexual images forever, although I did hide from them for the first few weeks or month of sobriety. I am working on creating healthy reactions to the surprises. If this proves not to work I will have to tighten the screws and be more choosey with what I watch. Maybe this is helpful, maybe it’s not, only you will know what’s right for you.
No it is thank you. I’m not currently allowed to start a program because my work is therapist has advised me not to whilst he’s working with me. I would like to be able to work through the triggers. So maybe that’s something I can take to our sessions. Thank you for sharing
Initially I avoided all such things. Although it’s challenging finding things free of sex scenes,there are family shows out there, cartoons, religious programs, documentaries,food shows, etc. So it’s up to us to make a real effort to stay away from triggers.
But let’s say you somehow get caught off guard:turn it off! Switch the channel,read a book,etc. you could fast forward,but you risk running into something again. Also, you can read reviews and watch movie trailers before watching the movie.
Beautiful…