I am watching porn all the time and am wondering how do I know if this is a problem and what can I do to stop?
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Is it causing a negative impact on your life?
Being sober does not mean you abstain from sex but Russel Brand has talked about how he became addicted to the act of sex and watched a lot of pornography. He discusses in his book
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Welcome. There are many people here struggling with porn and sex addictions. You can use the search icon to read more about their journeys.
I just wanted to welcome you and support your decision to stop.
For me, it’s been helpful to get help, lots of it. I share in meetings and on TS. I have blocks on my devices. And I open the door to let God work in my life.
Don’t lose hope. There are a lot of women addicted to porn. You are not alone and don’t be ashamed to reach out for help.
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Is it pornography that you’re trying to stop? Or are you just watching porn as you try to stop some other drug?
Either way (speaking as a pornography addict), watching porn is a very unhealthy outlet. Its addictive, just like any other substance. What is your story, how’d you get to where you are today?
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Jared of subway said when he lost weight he just changed his food addiction to sex. I have heard that we cannot completely stop any activity that we do on a regular basis out (only substitute them). Someone told me if you are addicted to alcohol or even smoke pot every every evening try something different during that time that is healthy like going to the gym/ Crossfit, riding a bicycle or motorcycle, etc. This way you are replacing the bad activity with a positive one.
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Hey @Sheyy_bebe, first off great question.
It’s a question I asked myself just over 9 months ago, and the best way I can answer your question is to tell you what my decision was.
TLDR upfront: if you want to stop watching porn, stop watching porn. I know it sounds rather blunt, but I went cold turkey on porn and masturbation (verymuch linked for me, one begot the other), and here I am, over 9.5 months later, sober, yet still craving.
I know it’s a bit of a jump for some people to take to consider porn an addictive “substance”, but it really becomes clear when you abstain for a while (weeks). I wanted it so badly the first few weeks, that it took all of my willpower and experience meditating to control myself. This leads to the unique difference here with porn addiction:
It’s all the mind. It’s all internal. Yes, the videos/media/etc could be considered the drug, but you’re not really ingesting anything except through your eyes and ears. You’re tricking your brain into the “best sex” you’ve ever had over and over again, relentlessly, until you’re addicted to that level of dopamine output, and you’re left wanting, constantly.
My problem was, I felt a deep dissonance between having a proper respect for women, and having porn condition me to see every woman in my life as an option. A yes or no, regardless of if I’d spoken to her, knew her name, knew a single thing about her other than what she looked like. I hated that more than anything, and I still fight that everyday, only now, with the images of porn fading into deeper memory, it’s getting easier to feel more honest and present.
There are still the hard days when I end up craving sex and asking myself why it is that I can hit it off with women and not date anyone, really just attacking myself mentally over and over. Very unproductive for recovery.
Your question is a fundamental one that I haven’t found a satisfying answer for: how do I know if this is a problem? For me it was instinctual. Yes, there are plenty of reasons from the industry itself to stop, but I’d also found myself watching “ethical” porn, made by the people and distributed by them. It was still fantasy. It was still robbing me of the space and interest to pursue it in my life. For me, that’s been my answer. I think it was an issue for me, because it blocked me. It shutdown my ability to connect with women on a more real, trusting level. It also shattered my confidence in myself, which doesn’t help when we live in a culture of “men make the move”.
As you can tell if you’ve read this far, I’m pretty passionate about this change in my life, yet I don’t have all the satisfying answers. I don’t know how I get back to the way I was able to have meaningful relationships with women. I don’t know a lot, but I feel more ready to pursue the answer now that I feel cleaner, more honest of mind, and less judgemental.
Hope that helps, on to the next day.
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Well said 
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Hi @Sheyy_bebe, welcome 
Basically I’d start by asking if you feel you’re not who you want to be. For many people, porn is an escape from vulnerability associated with fears about intimacy, or feeling inadequate or otherwise broken in some way. In this way porn is an artificial escape from life and it is a problem (because we need to engage with healthy vulnerability to grow).
The next thing I’d do is start cataloguing your triggers. I got rid of my smartphone and that made a very significant difference. Another one is being healthier with my boundaries on my time and energy (being overwhelmed and trying to be everything to everyone is a big trigger for me). Also, make some recovery friends you can call when you’re weak. (Weakness is a natural, normal part of being human. No shame in it. It’s ok to say, I was weak, or I feel weak, or I need you to help me by doing this.) Speak up about your needs with the people who are important to you.
Pay attention to your relationships. For me personally (and for many other sex and porn users / addicts), porn is filling an unmet need for something. Reflect on what you want from friendships. Reflect on what you need, to feel satisfied with yourself, to know you are being what you want to be. (You need to be grounded in a healthy self to have healthy relationships.)
Finally, recognize that it’s a process. You will stumble. But if you persist you will eventually reach a more balanced, grounded life, and you will feel more healthy growth. Have fun with it! Take up interests to explore yourself. I’ve seen recovering sex and porn addicts get into hiking, knitting, sketching (me), and all kinds of other activities, on their own and with others. Enjoy it - recovery and sobriety is a wonderful new chapter in your life
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Over time it will impact your daily life and routine it will make you lazy and anxious stressed hopeless! Dont let this darkness take your brain! Pornography is not same sex you practicing with partner. Exposing watching nudity take over your brain. You cannot concentrate well in daily life. Its horrible thing! Im pron addicted 13 years!