It’s not only the physical effects of drinking I spend each day surviving and recovering from. It is also the shame about the thing I have done. There is always a thing that I have done while drinking to be ashamed of the next day (not to mention the shame of having drunk again). Shame is a horrible feeling. How does everyone copen with/manage it?
I’m on my way to day 2
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You are doing the first part right. You are not drinking so you have stopped the cycle of doing things you will regret. Awesome!
For me I worked the AA steps. They helped me address my past actions and face what I had done. It gave me peace and closure.
You have taken a big step so keep it up!
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For me, the 12 steps of AA were what I needed to reconcile myself to my past actions. But moreover, attendance at AA meetings helped me to identify with others who had similar experiences and were not trapped in the shame.
The same principles in the steps are available in other programs, such as Smart Recovery and Refuge Recovery.
I hope you find a fit soon. The feeling of shame reinforced my negative thinking leading to more shameful actions. I was able to break the cycle at the behavior end, but I needed help from counselors and AA to address the feeling and thinking patterns.
Everything is gonna be alright. 
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Hi James …
Shame is a horrid emotion, but is uniquely human.
People who can’t feel shame are psychopaths.
So, hey…you aren’t that!!
Seriously, I used my feelings of shame as a motivator to stop feeling shame, but I didn’t wallow in it or let it overwhelm me. And it’s no coincidence that those feelings pretty much stopped when I stopped drinking.
I’m glad you’re here!
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Embrace the shame. Just think to yourself this could be the last time ever you feel like this. Use it as motivation and fuel to kick on.
Then do the 12 steps and rip all of that guilt and shame straight out of you. It does not have to get any worse for you my friend
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@SinceIAwoke thanks Dan! I’m definitely going to start seeing a councillor again. I totally agree with the idea of needing help from those who understand whilst not being trapped in the feeling- it’s the main reason I am here… I’ve tried AA before with disappointing results (I really respect and am awesome of how it has worked so well for so many) maybe I’ll look into it again. Thanks for being there.
Hopefully your try AA again dont see why it didnt work for you ? wish you well
It sounds like you’re experiencing feelings of guilt and regret in addition to the shame. I can relate. I’ve done many regretable acts. And remembering them helps me to make better choices today for my recovery.
The shame though, the feeling of worthlessness and self-pity; the feeling that I’m a mistake, disappears with time and work.
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And by the way, I think you are off to a great start.
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This is a wonderful topic.And I empathize.It is dear to me because I have struggled with this for a long time.Keep this in mind.Shame is not an enemy.It is healthy and let’s you know that you have done wrong.The next gem in dealing with shame is acceptance.were not perfect.What is golden is the courage to make amends if possible.Being honest and willing.It will balance the shame from unhealthy to healthy.I hope this resonates.Read the serenity prayer.Know that your experience will help another human being.Love and tolerance is our code.Peaxe and Love
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Thanks @sprinkles Cheryl! It just occurred to me that the few times in my life I have been able to maintain sobriety for any significant amount of time was purely motivated by a particularly shameful situation I got myself into. Not wanting that IS a powerful motivator. I really get that now… has totally changed how I look at it!
This is so true @nick_1985 ! I am going to use it! And it doesn’t have to get worse, your right! Thanks so much for your words man! It means so much!
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Thanks @KevinesKay your words and empathy mean so much right now
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Oh wow @Luqman just reading your post is helping me understand that truth and honesty are real and powerful antidotes to shame. Thanks so much!
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Shame and her sidekick Blackout were my biggest motivators, but there are so many others, big and small, that remind me how much better (well less crappy anyway at this point) my life is without booze in it.
It’s so true. I just keep remembering the horror of waking up and knowing I had done something but not remembering exactly what. Then the humiliation of finding out or “remembering”. Not having that feeling first thing in the morning is definitely one of my many motivations.