Im one car ride away from going to a year long rehab center while leaving behind everything i own except for what i can carry and fit on a shelf. I want sobriety and my boyfriend didnt, so i go to treatment, he goes to his dads. But now instead of splitting up, we keep our house and he said hes willing to be clean, drug free starting now. So she we stay together drug free or should i move and start over putting a year between us and coming together after with both of us clean? Let me know what you think.
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Without our sobriety, we have nothing.
“If we put all else above sobriety, we stand to lose it all. If we put sobriety before everything, we stand to gain everything”
Do what is best for you and you alone. If you do this for others or a what if, it’ll be way harder to accomplish. If it’s meant to be and he is ready to be as clean as you want to it’ll work out in the end after you’ve committed to your health and sobriety.
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I am in a similar situation, my fiancee doesn’t want to stop drinking. It’s makes it so much more harder to stop when it’s constantly in my face. With our lives at stake due to this addiction, we have to find anyway possible to stop. Starting over is never an option you want. But it’ll be so much easier to get it all back with a sober, focused, healthy you.
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you said you wanted to be sober and your boyfriend didn’t? now he’s saying he’ll be clean if you stay? i would be very suspicious of that. put yourself first. your sobriety is more important than anything. 
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Only you can decide. But I will say that if your boyfriend is trying to stay clean/sober for you, to not break up, it is unlikely to be successful in my opinion. You can only get clean/sober for yourself. If your boyfriend is not in that place, I worry it won’t last. I loved my kids more than anything, but I couldn’t get sober for them. I had to want it for myself.
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Rehab. Put yourself first, put in the work and fight for your life. If he does the work while you are gone you can decide when you get out. Often when people say they want to get sober for someone they are only looking to prolong their use or their time together.
You ultimately know whats right for you. Just my input. Stay well.
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Go if you can, you may never get the chance again. The relationship isn’t garunteed… you have to put yourself first.
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Put your recovery first, probably is not for nothing that you are about to go. I wish I did it, I was about to put a hold on a relationship and expressed it to her. This with the intention to see if we could reconnect if I was done. Probably wouldn’t have worked but still. She did want to hold on to what we got I geus, which looking back wasn’t much. I didn’t go, the relationship ended sour and started working on myself and sober since that date (3+ years).
Everything you put in front of your recovery you’ll loose eventually…. 