So beautiful inside and out Stella you deserve to shine so bright!! Keep being amazing 
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You are an AMAZING beautiful woman.
Look at you go girl 
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That’s so cool; that first one is beautiful! You’re a great asset here; and your mom looks so proud in that picture too! 
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Incredible return to form!
Did you find the clothes and makeup they gave you changed as you changed? Your “look” changed but you certainly always looked like a model, but suited for different markets.
You look super-alive now though. There’s genuine happiness.
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I am so blown away! What an incredible journey you’ve been on!
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Amazing change!
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Back on day 2 now. Really trying atm
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That’s alright. I was back on day 1 for at least thousand time 
You need to remember why you’re doing this 
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Every fucking day you amaze me.
I didn’t know you lost 7 stone. Had to do the math. Feels great don’t it?! Trying to do stone math in my head. 
I lost just under 4 stone. And I love it!! I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Glad you enjoyed my song.
Keep burning brightly lady 
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I suppose I’m not a person who enjoys attention on me if that makes sense… I was buying trainers today and it was a first to look in a mirror and for once I thought Dang I’m looking good 
. This place for me is a place I feel free and can share the journey I’m on.
Ive gone to from like size 18-20 UK sizes to a 10-12… I still go for larger sizes as inside I feel I’m still that size.
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I think that many of us (maybe everybody 
) was in that stage when we tried moderate drinking. I personally tried many things, like drinking only beer, drinking a lot of water in between alcohol, etc. Nothing ever worked. It can work for a while but the problem is that the drink means something more for us than to others.
When I talked with normal drinkers how they think about their drinking and if it was ever hard for them not to drink more than they wanted, they even didn’t know what I am talking about. Because people who are not addicted don’t even think about alcohol in this way. They just grab the drink and drink until they feel they had enough (and occasionally a bit more). But itś not like that drink is the centre of universe for them and that the drink is the main reason why they’re there. The difference is that for us it is about the drink. Whole the time. The anxiety that there will be not enough or that I am already finishing my glass when everybody else is still having their almost full, waiting ages for a waitress to bring a new round, etc. People don’t pay attention to it unlike me or you. And that’s the sickness in our heads.
Once I have finally realised that I don’t need the drink because it’s not bringing any additional value to my life, the world changed for me. My mind is freedom without all of this thinking and worrying about the silly drink and I can finally actually concentrate on where I am and who I am there with and also remember these moments without embarrassing myself or feeling totally down the following day. I have eventually found out that my life is much better and much more valuable when I am spending it sober. And I can promise you that I have absolutely zero cravings for alcohol. It’s actually the opposite - the idea of having a single alcoholic drink makes me sick. I literally don’t want it and I don’t have to use any willpower to say no to alcohol. It’s like a miracle because I was in the exactly same stage of thinking like you. And in that time I would never ever believe that this mindset which I have now is possible for me to have. I was very addicted physically and emotionally to alcohol and I was so much exhausted and not able to stop drinking at the same time. I had a suicide thoughts and I was at a very dark place.
I was also apologising to people after almost every my drinking (after they were so kind and told me what I have actually done - blackout was my speciality). Then the day came and I hurt my mum. It was the first time when I’ve managed to stop drinking for 2 months. But I had these cravings and I missed alcohol so badly. I hated people who could drink and saw as pretty unfair that I can’t. I didn’t go anywhere because I just couldn’t do it without alcohol. All the places were so tempting and I saw no sense of going anywhere when I couldn’t drink. I was mostly grumpy and upset. Then I tried the moderate drinking again and it lasted only two weeks until I blackout again and hurt somebody who I very love. I don’t know what was worse, whether the fact I hurt him or that I didn’t even recall it and so I had no idea what I’ve done again. And that day was the last day I drank. I just realised how different person I am drunk. I couldn’t even recognise myself when I heard what I said and did. I was thinking…why would I do that??? I naturally didn’t want any drink since then because I was afraid who I would become to be and that I could actually loose some people around me just because I can’t behave when I am drunk. And after some time I started love myself. I learnt how to forgive myself and now I am over a year sober and as I said, there is no way back for me. I wouldn’t do it to myself. I would have to be insane lol.
By the way, I was very depressed and anxious, too. Alcohol was my way how to cope. That’s what I thought. I can tell you that after only three to four months not drinking I started to be depressed and anxious less and less and now I am not depressed at all and just a little bit of anxiety. But I think that it’s normal and that everybody’s a little bit anxious sometimes. I learnt how to deal with it and it’s really much better to face problems or things which seem to be scary. You’ll see that they’re not half way as bad as we always think.
I do believe that you can do this all too. I was addicted for 16 years and struggling to stop for long three years. But I have never gave up. And now I am really very very happy and positive person. If you’d meet me when I was addicted and now you’d see that I am a very different person. Not only that I am more confident but I also know what I want and I feel much more comfortable in my life. I started love my life and I feel so very freedom. It’s really amazing and I am grateful.
I wish you really all the best and if you ever want talk, just let me know 
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Wow, thank you for the beautiful text, that’s exactly how I feel. I didn’t understand “normal drinkers” don’t think about alcohol in the way I do for a long time … Why would you have a wine rack for storing bottles? I would drink them instantly anyways. Feeling anxious about not having enough beer at a bbq in the park … What would I do if I ran out of beer? I would always think waaay too much about the amount of alcohol I would bring. And I would be disappointed when people switched to coffee or water and I had to stop drinking too, in order not to stand out … I once had a panic attack because I forgot it was a holiday and couldn’t go to the supermarket to buy booze. Nobody understood why I freaked out.
It was when I realized that normal people don’t think that way, that I had a problem. It’s nice not to have those thoughts anymore 
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Very inspiring. Thank you. I’m on day 5 again and really starting to feel a shift. I don’t want to worry about drinking and I don’t want to be sick the next day. Thanks for writing I look forward to being on the other side of this with you!
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Boom look at you lady!!!
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Hello Emily. Well done for 5 days!
What helped me a lot from the beginning was playing the tape until the end. It means that when I used to have cravings for alcohol I allowed myself to imagine that I would go and grab it and how much fun I would have. That’s how cravings look like, right? That’s the temptation we are fighting so much. We’re trying to push this idea back, not to think about it, because we’re worry that it will make us give up. But what if you will just let yourself to feel your cravings and dive in, instead of never-ending fighting which make you feel tired and exhausted… But if you want to play this tape and the game of imagination, when you’re remembering all “the good” alcohol was bringing into your life, be so kind to yourself and play the tape to the end. Imagine whole the time, how it would go. Not only “pleasant” moments when you’re having fun. Because that’s not there where it finishes, is it? Why would you otherwise want to stop drinking? Go further, until the time when you are drunk and do exactly all these things you don’t like, because that’s where it would end up, am I right?
All cravings are based on some memory from our past. But it’s important to realise that your brain is giving you only part of the memories. Only the good one. But there are other things hidden which you don’t get to see immediately. Unless you stop yourself from giving in and from following the habit when you just go and take the drink. Unless you think about the funny part as well as about the part afterwards, which is the reason why you don’t want to drink anymore.
It’s quite important to name and remember reasons why you’re doing all of this.
I was playing the tape and it always helped me very much. Because in EVERY EACH CASE when I thought about alcohol in positive way it helped me to realise that it’s very fake imagination given to me. If I was honest with myself and let myself see things how they would really go I didn’t want the drink anymore. Sometimes I had to do it more than once in one evening, especially when I was attending a place where others drank and made it really look like fun. But believe me, if I was patient and stayed long enough I would see how drunk people like and I didn’t like it. Too drunk people are nothing nice. And we all know it.
I wish you only good and let me know, how it goes for you
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You need a bigger shower head 
but great transformation!! 
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