My dad actually had this problem years ago. Bought a house during the 2008 housing bubble and got upside down on it and due to a divorce could barely keep up the payments and wanted out and ended up being forced to file bankruptcy because of how upside down he was after the bubble burst
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I discovered something else! I love this process of digging. I’ve always been a detail and research nerd 
I love to search for answers.
Even in the worst case scenario - the landlord changes the locks and puts your stuff on the street (which is very, very illegal and the landlord faces stiff penalties for that under New York state law - they’re not allowed to take the law into their own hands - but let’s look at it here just for the purposes of being prepared) - even in that worst case scenario, there are steps you can take.
First things first: talk to some family or friends in the area and explain your situation. Ask a few people if they’re willing to support you and your son for a short time in their home, just in case the worst case scenario happens. (If your landlord has any common sense at all, this will not happen, because if he does lock you out, you can go after him and recover triple damages from him. But just for the sake of being prepared, have a short list of places you and your son can stay, in case.)
If you are locked out of your current place, then get some free legal counsel, and take action to assert your rights, both your property rights - to have an habitable home and a place to live - and your financial rights. The NY Attorney General’s office suggests this site for legal advice about tenancy and eviction: Find Legal Help Help by State | LawHelp.org | Find free legal help and information about your legal rights from nonprofit legal aid providers in your state. Familiarize yourself with your rights in the case of eviction, including your right, in some cases, to be restored to occupancy in your apartment, by reviewing this document - https://ag.ny.gov/sites/default/files/tenants_rights.pdf - specifically pages 36-37 relating to eviction. (It’s also worth reviewing that whole document because there are a lot of rights you have as a tenant and you can hold your landlord accountable, including financially, for failing to respect your rights, whether you stay in the apartment or leave.
You can do it Julia. You have what you need, both in terms of knowledge and terms of tenacity and strength. You can do it.
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Don’t give up playing music Julia. You need that for your heart. It’s not worth giving that up - definitely not for this stupid choice of your lousy landlord - after you’ve worked so hard to make it part of your life.
You rock mama bear!
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you’re right and i can’t give up the music it’s too much a part of me. i appreciate you so much for how you stepped up to bat for me today it made a huge difference Matt 
you really went above and beyond and I am so grateful. i got activated and went ahead and created some online portfolios for freelancer work, i just know that if i keep staying engaged in action and trusting the process i’m gonna get thru this without too much more suffering & i’ll eventually build something & it’ll all make sense soon. thank you so much
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& thank you to everyone who replied here on my comment today i can’t tell you how much it means to me. this community rocks. i love you guys 
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