About a month ago I relapsed after over 9 months off alcohol. I knew I was heading in that direction for weeks. But what I really want to discuss is how much I immediately hated it! I drank about half a shot. From the burning in my stomach to the anxiety it gave me to the tipsy feeling. On top of that, I felt badly hungover the next day during my 14 hour shift (blah!). Since then, I have been better than ever. That experience challenged and broke some of the ideas I had about alcohol (the reasons I began to miss it). Now, I am sober more so because I simply don't want to drink rather than I "can't" because I'm an addict.
I wanted to ask how some of you tell someone about your soberity date after something like this? I tell people my new date (2/9/19) before adding "I was sober 9 months before that". 4/29/19 is still going to be such a big day for me because in the year since then I have accomplished so much in every area of my life.Anytime I slipped, I always reset my date. Didn’t matter if it was 1 sip or 10 shots. If people are willing to listen, why not tell them your story. Although I have been struggling with alcoholism for many years, I also have had long durations of sobriety. With the longest one being over 6 months. I think this is a nice reminder that if you did it once before, you can do it again. One day at a time!
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Letting alcohol into your body is not sober, so your sobriety date should reflect that, in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong with being mindful of dates that have significance to you, but I wouldn’t call it a sobriety date unless you’ve been continuously sober since then.
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For me one sip is a reset.
But it’s your sober path, so your rules I guess.
If I wouldn’t reset my daycounter after I drank I know my addictive mind would make overtime to tell me I could drink again and not reset.
Also I want to be honest to myself. Sober is sober. So no sip or drink for me.
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I have one sobriety date. It was the last day any drugs or alcohol entered my system. Clean time is not a program and I can’t rest on my laurels. Hell, I was sober the first 10 years of my life, but I still drank.
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Hey everyone, thanks for your replies. I reset my counter the day after so it’s not exactly like I’m trying to disregard that slip and keep it what it was before. 4/29 will always be significant to me though because that was the first time in my life, I honestly addressed my issues with alcohol and made a true attempt at sobriety. It’s significant, not just because that’s when I cut the alcoholic chains, but because of the result of that very VERY difficult journey. I have witnessed tremedous changes both inside and outside. I am physically much healthier, I quit smoking, I applied to a master’s program for next Fall, Ive been promoted at my job, I’m saving for a house, I’ve been on several vacations, and most importantly, my mental health is better than it has ever been in my life. I truly believe none of that would have been possible if I didn’t quit alcohol. I guess I could use that date to reflect on my year similiar to how people do on New Year’s? Maybe like I was sober 364/365 days of the year, which is still huge to me because I couldn’t even imagine going a week without back then. I think because so much has changed, I don’t feel like I’m one month sober. I remember how one month sober was the first time and that was literal hell. Whereas, this relapse solidified my recovery for me. I know my recovery is personal and I’m fine with my new sobriety date. It’s moreso telling people about it. I’m very open about my recovery now and I don’t want to lie and say I’m 10+ months sober (because I’m not) but also one month sober doesn’t feel right either. I think it’s moreso just my thinking that’s interfering. This is the first time I had any kind of relapse so I’m comparing one month sober then to one month sober now and they’re completely different experiences. That’s why it’s hard for me to come to terms with being only one month sober.
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Your sober date is your sober date. It’s not like the odometer on a car you are trying to sell, where if tampered with would be a fraud.
You are the one counting your days, and I am counting mine. If I have one more day than you, all it means is I started a day sooner. It matters to me that I have 458 days since my last drink. Your days matter to you. We celebrate each other’s milestones because we either remember what it took to get there, or aspire to get there ourselves.
But if I don’t drink today, and you don’t drink today, we are both sober. I am no more sober than you are, and you no more than me.
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I heard someone at a meeting say that though he’s had long-term sobriety, he doesn’t focus on number of days or months or years. He said that as an addict, no matter how far he travels down the road, he’s just a few steps away from the ditch. Then he looked around the room and said if all we have is today, then the person who woke up first this morning has the longest sobriety. I really liked looking at it that way. If I never see myself as having “arrived,” perhaps I will have a sense of just how close I am to that ditch.
I really liked how you used your relapse to remind you what alcohol was doing TO you. Our disease often only let’s us remember what it was doing FOR us.
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