I am new here. I decided it was time to look for some support and help in staying clean this time.
My DOC is crack, I just cannot go longer than two months without using. I had 50 days clean before I used on Monday night. The cravings become too much its like something takes control of me and i hate who i become while using.
I really dont want to use and always regret it after doing it. I only do it for one day and then stop. How can i work on this? Why do i keep slipping up? I’m just so lost and need some help.
Welcome to the forum! Great job on reaching out for more support!
My DOC was also crack cocaine. Its a demon of a drug. I could manage 3 days without using before that addict voice started convincing me that I could have just 1. That was obviously never the case.
I think the first biggest step, is what ur doing now… reaching out for support. Its sooo important to pop on here 1st when u have a craving to use. Let us help u thru it. If it wasnt for this forum, i guarentee i wouldnt have 3+ years clean.
Another helpful tip is to write down ur reasons for quitting. What happens to me (and maybe to urself too) is that i forget how bad using really is. The addict part of my mind will lie to me and give me any number of excuses to use. It makes me forget the past and how awful it was to use. Thats why its important to “play the tape to the end”. In other words, reminding urself how bad it will get and how regretful ull be if u use.
Distract urself with healthy hobbies amd activities. Keeping busy can be helpful, especially in early recovery.
Delete those numbers. Block then delete all dealers numbers so that it makes it harder to get ahold of it. If ur around others who do it too, u may need to place some distance btwn u and them so that ur not tempted to use.
Make plans for ur money so that u dont have a large amount of extra cash lying around. In the beginning of recovery, i spent practically all of my pay cheque on things i needed or wanted bcuz i knew that if i had extra money, id be extra tempted.
I think ur on the right track with asking for more help. We cant do this alone! Glad ur here. Hope to see u check in on the check in thread
Welcome to the TS family
First of all, you have not lost clean time. You didn’t eradicate your previous days. You had 50 days, those 50 days will always be 50 days clean in your life. So, that sounds a little bit more positive
You need a better support network and connection to other people. No one ever got sober/clean alone. Have a look around the forum, participate, check-in, hold yourself accountable, find advice and ask questions. And always always always reach out before you reach for your DOC
Thanks for the tips and welcome it feels good to talk to people who understand. I have been filling out my journals on the app and am gonna try to keep it up. The tip about remembering how bad it actually is good advice, as using was always not very enjoyable but you are right about the addict voice chiming in trying to rationalize using
Hey, thats a great way to look at it yep i definetely dont have a support system but instead have these users and dealers around me that makes getting it easy. These people dont care about me or give a shit if im clean. Im going to cut everyone out of my life that is bad for me, also tempting to move out of province to my brothers for a while to escape and heal.
