I took an Adderall tonight, after being sober from meth for a week. I want to go easy on myself — at least it wasn’t ice — but I’m still disappointed in myself. How do you get past that feeling and get back to re-committing to sobriety?
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Thank you! The forgiveness part is hard — I know it’s not technically a step backwards re: meth but it still feels like a mess-up. Working on forgiving myself because guilt will only trigger more cravings.
I took it because I was at a party and felt sleepy and wanted to be social. It’s hard. But I guess advice on what to do when you’re tired would be nice. I do know the HALT acronym for anticipating cravings:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
If your justification ends with “but”, you know that, yeah, it really is a step backward. The thing with addiction is that it is easy to focus on the ingestion of the actual drug as the problem, when the problem is in our personalities, our attitudes, beliefs, and subsequent actions.
I’m a recovered alcoholic, my drink of choice was beer, with a lot of whiskey thrown in. Wine was the gateway drink for me. Would it be ok “technically” for me to drink a hard seltzer? They didn’t have those around when I was drinking….
Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?
If you are in early days of sobriety, why are you at a party? Because that is also part of our problem - the thinking that it is the particular drug or drink that is the problem. Taking steps to prioritize and protect our sobriety does not feel right to us, does it? But that is exactly what we need to learn. AA, NA, Talking Sober, other recovery programs, that’s what they are all about - vehicles to a different way of life, to a new growth. One of the most useful things I have ever heard in AA is “My best thinking got me here”. “Here” could be in front of a judge, or in a hospital bed, or just in a metal folding chair in a church basement at a meeting. I could not trust my own thinking, I had to rely on the people around me (in AA, in my case) who had much more experience in staying sober to give me guidance.
Welcome to Talking Sober - you are in the right place if you are trying to get and stay sober. Thank you for being open about your struggles, it helps all of us when you let the light shine on the crazy in your head and in your life, because we have the same crazy as you.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your sobriety.
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I’ll step up my recovery program by going to more meetings and pick up the phone to talk to like minded people.
Recovery for me is not about the substance. It’s the reason why I partake. My DOC is not marijuana but if I take one gummy or one hit, that’s a reset for me. I’m obviously trying to escape or celebrate something. Instead, I need to change the behavior. If life gets lifey then I need to face it with a clear mind. If I’m celebrating, then I’ll use that money I saved from not using to do something nice for myself.
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Sleep.
I don’t go to many social events because I realized I don’t like large crowds and I never did. Me being tired was a subconscious way for my mind to give me a signal that I was not comfortable where I was (at the party). I later realized that I just don’t feel comfortable in large crowds, at all.
If you’re tired, leave where you are and go home and sleep. Better yet, don’t go to the party in the first place; it’s not worth the risk. You need to get to know yourself - your healthy self, which means working on freedom from addiction - and that means spending time with people in recovery, and not time with people at parties. It will be a change.
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