Long before I finally broke up with cigarettes in 2014—after nine years, about fifty ‘this is my last pack’ moments, and one dramatic farewell speech—I was already deep into my screen addiction and my ongoing PhD program in ‘solo adult entertainment.’ And when I finally kicked smoking? My brain said, ‘Great job! Let’s celebrate by binge-eating everything in the house.’
So now I’m juggling habits like a circus act nobody bought tickets for. This thread is my attempt to take tiny steps toward a mountain-sized goal: ending the whole addiction relay race instead of handing the baton to a new one every time. Time to handle the actual underlying issues before I accidentally invent yet another coping mechanism.
Wish me luck—I’m going in, snacks optional but probably happening.
Love that you’re making a plan! I’m early in my sobriety, too, and just chugging away an hour at a time. Just don’t forget to give yourself time to do (healthy lol) things that bring you joy.
Thanks! And yeah… finding balance right now feels like trying to stand on a yoga ball while juggling flaming watermelons. I want to make progress, but addiction is often just unmet needs wearing a different outfit. And one of my biggest needs is fun and socializing — which, inconveniently, don’t always show up when I’m buried in “self-improvement mode.”
A few weeks ago I decided I should devote three hours a day to growth and addiction recovery. After five days, I was basically a walking existential crisis with Wi-Fi. So now I’m trying something more realistic: seven hours a week for the practical work, and five hours for the “theoretical” stuff (audiobooks, podcasts, pretending to understand neuroscience).
Twelve hours total. And last week? Yeah… I didn’t hit the goal. But hey — at least I didn’t spontaneously combust, so that’s progress in my book.
Thanks! Yeah, my relapse pattern is basically the same every time: life gets rough → I fall apart → screens, ultra-processed foods along with adult videos throw a surprise party in my brain. Not the fun kind.
My plan for the beginning is to actually start dealing with the screen addiction and the UPF cravings instead of pretending they’re “quirks.” And I’m finally going to reach out to a psychologist/psychiatrist so I can figure out what exactly is hurting underneath all of this.
In other words: time to stop guessing and start adulting. (Wish me luck — I’m only moderately qualified for this.)
Weekly Update
This week I made a few real steps toward reducing screens and food-as-a-mood-fix, all aimed at improving my mental health:
Posted an ad to find an accountability buddy
Revised my list of pros for cutting down on screens and ultra‑processed foods (UPF)
Took concrete steps to limit screen time and snack reliance
Reflection: Shifting to weekly updates feels more sustainable and gives me space to notice patterns. The buddy system and pros list are practical anchors to keep me on track.
Synergy practice: Dedicated time to “Synergy” exercises, focusing on health.
Risk awareness: Revisited research showing that high screen time (≥ 6 h/day) in adolescents is linked to increased suicide attempt risk (aRRR ≈ 2.04 for females, ≈ 3.61 for males in one cohort). -— I’m not an adolescent, but I sometimes have similar thoughts when I’m on a binge.
Pros list: Compiled and reviewed 105 distinct benefits of reducing screen use and cutting back on ultra‑processed foods.
Protocol work:
Restructured the old emergency protocol on guilt.
Created two new protocols: one for craving, and one for “being on edge.”
Last week I had a major relapse. Seems I have periods of depression (cyclothymia?), it feels so bad that I cannot control myself. Looking into the depression problem.