I know that feeling. I’ve never smoked that much but when I was younger I was fine…just the giggles and a little paranoia. Then I tried again around the age of 30 and I had a full blown panic attack and I was sure I was going to have a heart attack. Now that I’m in my 40s I don’t think I’ll ever go near the stuff for fear of how I’ll react. I’ll probably be one of those people who runs away from some unknown and unseen threat right onto a busy highway.
For me, pot is a no go.
Yeah I can’t do pot or alcohol. Pot makes me so anxious that I feel like I’m going to die. And alcohol I get angry and black out and can’t control myself. So hell no to alcohol!!!
Im in almost the exact same position. I consider myself a well educated and well studied guy with a short (1.5 years) but fruitful? professional carreer. I attended on academic scholarship a top tier college in the US (im not american) but lost that same scholarship 2 years after mainly because i started smoking weed all day every day. Joining a fraternity made things worse.but hey, i had the time of my life and i graduated without problems as an economics major. Now as a part of the labor force. I dont mind smoking since as of today it hasnt affected my performance at all. But nevertheless i live in a part of the world in which weed is heavily frowned upon. And my family has a very reputable record which i dont want to throw dirt on. All in all, i ussualy smoke in my bathroom before taking my pre-sleep shower amd in weekends with my friends a couple of bowls. What im tryng to get here is that i want some constructive critique of my actions amd the logic behind them. If it does not affect my life at all should i keep doimg it even though if my family or my 8 year long relationship partner finds out?
Im 18 hours clean as of now. And its gomma be really hard to keep up my temporal experiment of not smoking for a extended period of time because i happem to have with me a couple of Gs which i intend to save for when my friend from college visits me in 3 months. I hope that having that with me will amp up the odds of smoking again so its basically an experiment/test to my willpower. Any opinions/suggestions? I am very liberal amd open minded so fire away. 
I smoked petty much every day for almost 15 years. It took over my head space from within 15 mis of waking up till passing out. I stole to get money when I didn’t have enough to go to a dispensary to get a gram or two almost every day. I haven’t smoked in over a month and I feel way more in charge of my life and don’t miss the shit one bit. If you have cancer, epilepsy or glaucoma I completely am for using it medically but 98% of patients used the my arm hurts or my back hurts excuse to get their doctors to ok them to use it. For me, I rather enjoy not being confused, able to pass a drug test without relying on fake shit that probably won’t work and having more money because I’m not wasting it on hippie shit. That’s my 2 cents