So i fell off the wagon in spectacular style last night ,drank 3 bottles of wine ,and woke up and had been sick all over the bed ! Now i hate myself , have reset my counter ,this time im not telling any of my friends ,all i get is ’ why do you wanna do that you must be mad "etc etc instead of helping me and saying thats great or offering any support they make me feel like im a freak for not wanting to drink ! I feel terrible today ,when is this torture of feeling ill going to go away
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Thank you so much Rain for replying ,i will def check out some local groups . X
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So pleased your here and not giving up on your sobriety I’m afraid I had to loose most of my old friends when I wanted to get clean cos there was to much temptation if i was around them I understand you feel crap today so be kind to yourself it will get better. Have u tried any online meetings? It’s a great way to get support and get a soba network around yourself. X
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I guess that one of the reasons was that it was Friday and a Bank Holiday? So, of course we can interpret that as a reason to drink.
Except we can’t drink the way our friends drink, can we? Because 1 is too many and 100 aren’t enough.
If your drinking friends are like mine they don’t see the addiction in our drinking. And if they aren’t over drinkers (I detest the term alcoholics but understand that I’m in a minority) like us they don’t see why you need to stop.
You’re in good company here. Stay in touch. X
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It’s a good thing you feel so terrible about falling off. Just remember how you feel right now and use it to motivate you for the future when you have that urge to pick up again. Dust yourself off and get back on that wagon
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drinking can be very dangorous for certain people who cant seem to find a off botton
i drank hard liqure all night the last time i blacked out. after i blacked out i continued to drink the hard alcohol. i made a fool out of myself as i was passed out getting sick all over myself infront of everyone. then i woke up at 5am and had to walk home. my friends were telling me to just kinda relax and recover be4 i left that morning and i didnt know what the concern was about intil i saw the pic of me with nastyness all over me while passed out. i to this day think that could have been a deadly night for me if i fell asleep laying down insted of sitting upward.
i personaly dont blame my friends. its just that they can party without drinking to a blackout, and id just keep going and going. that was the second most dangourus drunk ive ever been. the first most dagourus sent me to the hospital for a week.
my personality gets me blackout drunk. and then some more.
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Glad to see you back. Now is such a great time to check out meetings. There is some kind of meeting running nearly 24/7 across the globe. You can login to all of them and see what fits.
None of my friends get it because they drink…but they don’t DRINK. They don’t have internal dialogues about moderation. They don’t negotiate with their cravings. They don’t have a flip switch as soon as the alcohol hits their bodies. So, yeah…don’t look for support from someone who cannot understand.
Lean in here. Check into some online meetings. There is a post with resources on the main page.
Glad you’re here!
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Finding a higher power greater than yourself is the solution that has worked for me and millions of others. You do not have to stay sober forever- just stay sober today. Reach out, talk with others in sobriety (you’re doing this!) and find gratitude, just for today, one hour, one day at a time. Praying for you…
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Jop how much time did you have sober?
A great saying I heard (I think @Englishd was the one who put it on my radar) is that it’s hardest to fall off the wagon from the middle. Surrounding yourself with sober people is a great way of doing this. Groups like @Mephistopheles mentioned are a great option. You could maybe hang around here more often too 
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Thanks so much for all the replys and love peeps , i will def hang around on here much more often , i dunno i managed 5 months without a drink but i just didnt feel like i needed help from on here i think i wasnt ready to admit that i had a problem , but now i def am . Hope to speak to all of you much more in the future .xxx
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The only time relapse is bad is when you didn’t learn from it and don’t pick yourself back up abd you stay defeated and the fact that you are on here reaching out says that you are willing to continue the fight , so good for you , don’t be to hard on yourself …instead learn from if …look at the support system you have , are they helping you stay sober ? If not then I think you need to cut some people of and look for freindship within the AA community. AA and the 12 step saved my ,I could not do it on my own , there’s no shame in that …we all need a bit of help that’s why we are all here…and as you can see from the many good people that took the time to respond to you …many are here for you …so stay strong sister and work towards surrounding yourself with those who truly care about you and want to see you be sober and successful on this journey 
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Thank you so so much i really appreciate you taking the time to reply .i feel so much better , havnt had a drink since ,i know its only been a few days , but im feeling positive and strong and everytime i think i might have just one !!glass of wine ,i think back to how awful i felt the next day 
.x
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Joanne-my counter’s quote today reminded me of what you had written a few days ago and I’d thought I’d share: “when something bad happens to you, you have three choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.” Dust yourself off and get back up-you are the only one in control of your destiny and we are all in the stands rooting for you 
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Awesome quote…love it
Will be keeping and using this one to deal with my life 
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So i just thought id update you all i went out with my bf and met up with a couple of friends yesterday (outside and socailly distanced of course ) they were all drinking …i took a bottle of nice squash and soda water and drank that !!! I had a great time and realised that i can go out and still have a laugh without having to drink the friends we met didnt try to pressure me into drinking or make me feel bad and ive woken up today with a clear head feeling great and can remember all of yesterday . Thank you so much to everyone who has commented on my post . Im def going to be more active on here because its all keeping me accountable to myself 
xx
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That is awesome!! I’m on day 9 and am yet to socialise with friends yet…but reading your post has reinforced my thinking…we don’t NEED a drink to socialise…if they are true friends they hang with you because of you…not the altered you 
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Im so glad , youre doing great ,keep going . I have drunk alcohol ever since i was 16 , especially in a social setting , i just didnt think anyone would like the real me !! I wouldnt be clever enough ,or funny enough or outgoing enough …unless i had a drink ! ,i would get nervous about going out , even tho it was with friends and would knock a few back b4 setting foot outside the door and then feel like i had to drink more all night to keep me at the same level or people would not find me interesting and not want to hang around with me . I guess now ive got older ive realised that if they dont like me its more their problem and i cant do anything about it . Sorry ive had a bit of a ramble there , just some thoughts. Xx
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