So i fell off the wagon!

So i fell off the wagon in spectacular style last night ,drank 3 bottles of wine ,and woke up and had been sick all over the bed ! Now i hate myself , have reset my counter ,this time im not telling any of my friends ,all i get is ’ why do you wanna do that you must be mad "etc etc instead of helping me and saying thats great or offering any support they make me feel like im a freak for not wanting to drink ! I feel terrible today ,when is this torture of feeling ill going to go away

8 Likes

Your old friends are probably not going to be the support that you need in recovery. You need some new sober friends. 12 step programs started with two alcoholics talking about their problem and the solution to one another. They soon discovered that it was keeping them sober. In my experience that is a huge part of recovery. Might want to check out your local 12 step groups. Those are mainly operating in zoom or other platforms like that at the moment, but then, that’s easy to access. Also suggest starting to work the steps, cause that’ll lead to emotional sobriety. Which is what this is really about.

12 Likes

Thank you so much Rain for replying ,i will def check out some local groups . X

3 Likes

So pleased your here and not giving up on your sobriety I’m afraid I had to loose most of my old friends when I wanted to get clean cos there was to much temptation if i was around them I understand you feel crap today so be kind to yourself it will get better. Have u tried any online meetings? It’s a great way to get support and get a soba network around yourself. X

2 Likes

Hi Joanne sorry you’re feeling so sick! Can I also add to the above awesome advice, to also write down how you are feeling at the moment. Write down every little physical, mental and emotional detail. And keep that piece of paper. Whenever you feel tempted to pick up a drink play the tape through in your head. To the end. And read those notes. Because it will remind you that picking up the first drink will lead to it happening all over again. We often need these reminders because we tend to downplay just how bad it was or think next time will be different…
And I also agree that in AA you will find people who genuinely will want to support and help you through your sobriety xx

3 Likes

I guess that one of the reasons was that it was Friday and a Bank Holiday? So, of course we can interpret that as a reason to drink.

Except we can’t drink the way our friends drink, can we? Because 1 is too many and 100 aren’t enough.

If your drinking friends are like mine they don’t see the addiction in our drinking. And if they aren’t over drinkers (I detest the term alcoholics but understand that I’m in a minority) like us they don’t see why you need to stop.

You’re in good company here. Stay in touch. X

4 Likes

It’s a good thing you feel so terrible about falling off. Just remember how you feel right now and use it to motivate you for the future when you have that urge to pick up again. Dust yourself off and get back on that wagon

4 Likes

drinking can be very dangorous for certain people who cant seem to find a off botton

i drank hard liqure all night the last time i blacked out. after i blacked out i continued to drink the hard alcohol. i made a fool out of myself as i was passed out getting sick all over myself infront of everyone. then i woke up at 5am and had to walk home. my friends were telling me to just kinda relax and recover be4 i left that morning and i didnt know what the concern was about intil i saw the pic of me with nastyness all over me while passed out. i to this day think that could have been a deadly night for me if i fell asleep laying down insted of sitting upward.

i personaly dont blame my friends. its just that they can party without drinking to a blackout, and id just keep going and going. that was the second most dangourus drunk ive ever been. the first most dagourus sent me to the hospital for a week.

my personality gets me blackout drunk. and then some more.

2 Likes

Glad to see you back. Now is such a great time to check out meetings. There is some kind of meeting running nearly 24/7 across the globe. You can login to all of them and see what fits.

None of my friends get it because they drink…but they don’t DRINK. They don’t have internal dialogues about moderation. They don’t negotiate with their cravings. They don’t have a flip switch as soon as the alcohol hits their bodies. So, yeah…don’t look for support from someone who cannot understand.

Lean in here. Check into some online meetings. There is a post with resources on the main page.

Glad you’re here!

2 Likes

Finding a higher power greater than yourself is the solution that has worked for me and millions of others. You do not have to stay sober forever- just stay sober today. Reach out, talk with others in sobriety (you’re doing this!) and find gratitude, just for today, one hour, one day at a time. Praying for you…

4 Likes

Jop how much time did you have sober?

A great saying I heard (I think @Englishd was the one who put it on my radar) is that it’s hardest to fall off the wagon from the middle. Surrounding yourself with sober people is a great way of doing this. Groups like @Rain666 mentioned are a great option. You could maybe hang around here more often too :slight_smile:

4 Likes

Thanks so much for all the replys and love peeps , i will def hang around on here much more often , i dunno i managed 5 months without a drink but i just didnt feel like i needed help from on here i think i wasnt ready to admit that i had a problem , but now i def am . Hope to speak to all of you much more in the future .xxx

7 Likes

The only time relapse is bad is when you didn’t learn from it and don’t pick yourself back up abd you stay defeated and the fact that you are on here reaching out says that you are willing to continue the fight , so good for you , don’t be to hard on yourself …instead learn from if …look at the support system you have , are they helping you stay sober ? If not then I think you need to cut some people of and look for freindship within the AA community. AA and the 12 step saved my ,I could not do it on my own , there’s no shame in that …we all need a bit of help that’s why we are all here…and as you can see from the many good people that took the time to respond to you …many are here for you …so stay strong sister and work towards surrounding yourself with those who truly care about you and want to see you be sober and successful on this journey :heart:

1 Like

Thank you so so much i really appreciate you taking the time to reply .i feel so much better , havnt had a drink since ,i know its only been a few days , but im feeling positive and strong and everytime i think i might have just one !!glass of wine ,i think back to how awful i felt the next day :pray:.x

1 Like

Joanne-my counter’s quote today reminded me of what you had written a few days ago and I’d thought I’d share: “when something bad happens to you, you have three choices: you can let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.” Dust yourself off and get back up-you are the only one in control of your destiny and we are all in the stands rooting for you :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

1 Like