Which is SOOOOO amazing!!! Our mind and our fears can get the best of us but if we quiet them down enough to try a different way we usually see how much better it is on the other side! I’m realllllly proud of you because I know how hard this has been for you!
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@jms - There’s tough love and then there’s ignorant audacity. @VSue is not lying or hiding anything but trying to find a solid, healthy approach to be as honest and open with her tenderly aged daughter about a ‘watershed’ topic.
So before you raise that pedestal up another notch and more insultingly regard someone elses family life as ‘dysfunctional crap’, maybe think a bit deeper about not only the subject matter but your own approach at offering advice instead of asinine vacuous crap.
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In the past I didn’t tell people and I failed. This time I was honest with my wife. I believe that that has helped me stay sober do long.
It sounds like you did the best thing for you, @VSue. I am so proud of you for forging ahead to find another meeting despite the possible lack of understanding from your husband. You have to do take care of yourself, because nobody else will. Keep up the great work!!
I understand. I truely did not want to fail and disappoint anyone. Sounds like your finding your own way. Keep up the great work.
So proud of you!!!
I found that open and honest was the best way for me. But “open and honest” didn’t mean telling my kids about all the dirty details such as being blacked out 3-5 nights per week. They knew in was drinking, but just not how much. But telling everyone I quit drinking FOREVER helps to keep me accountable. And my kids see a much better role model that can teach them about the dangers of alcohol and drugs without being a hypocrite. My kids are proud of me for quitting drinking and they see the healthy changes in me. You don’t need to use the term “alcoholic”, rather you can just say that alcohol isn’t healthy, makes you gain weight, makes you feel yucky the next day, etc.
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Oh, and most importantly, CONGRATULATIONS on making this positive change in your life. I’m happy for you & proud of you. Your entire family will benefit from it! 
I agree.
Mostly I need to be open and honest about why I’m leaving the house so much. My entire family is used to be being the one at home. To suddenly be out 2 nights a week will be a shock to them. But yeah, I did say AA but I didn’t elaborate on my being an alcoholic. Even with my husband I won’t say it. I simply say “I’ve stopped drinking and I want to stay that way so I’m going for help”.
I jokingly told my daughters…“I promise, I’m not going out to my boyfriend’s house”. (my husband’s “girlfriend” is a running joke in our family…her name is “Cathy”…so I thought I should get to have a “boyfriend” too).
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Thank you to all the encouraging words. Most days I don’t feel like I’m doing all that well in my recovery but all the “congratulations” and “I’m proud of you” made me stop to realise that I AM doing well. I won’t be fixed within 3 years, let alone we months, but I am getting better every day.
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You’ve got such a good attitude, my friend. You are doing great! Progress, not perfection! 
My message doesn’t pertain to anyone outsider of her daughters and husband. Nobody else needs to know, imho.
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I don’t buy that copout. Lying and teaching your kids to do the sane on your behalf is emotionally and mentally damaging to them.
I’m not one to open my mouth willy nilly and I spend much more time thinking and reading and learning by being here than I do preaching, whining or giving unsolicited advice. I get that her intentions are well-meant, but she herself said she wanted straightforward feedback and to be held accountable if she relapses and none of that “it’s part of the process” cooing folks get here, but I guess you and two others who chose to respond to my messages think we’re all supposed to be sweet and ignore obvious problems with certain activities or behaviors she and other choose to share about here. If I see a potentially damaging situation, I’m going to speak up. What are we here for if not to get feedback, hear hard truths or to seek advice. You dont get to pick and choose. If I had no experience with raising children, or getting sober, or family dynamics, therapy or psychiatry, I’d keep my mouth shut. But I do, so I won’t.
Thats cool man, you get to think whatever and however you want… so do the rest of us, I’m not selling shit, leastly my opinion. So my original comnent is what it is and it aint gonna change because somebody doesnt like it…