Let’s begin 5yrs ago…
My father passed away in the middle of a hard divorce that I was going through. My dad was my best friend. I felt alone. I was pressured into what formed a relationship and she got her daughter involved way too soon. Now I was trapped. Major “baby daddy” issues stole my freedom and my career as I protected my family from one of his “episodes” and caught a violent charge. Never been in trouble a day in my life! Now I’m a violent offender and lose my $140k a year job?! Fuck. I’m pissed. I’m hurt. I’m confused. I’m giving up. Fuck all of this! As already a being a recovering addict, I got high. A new drug this time, for me anyway. Methamphetamine. What a rush! I was hooked! I loved it! For the first 2 years of the addiction was low key and very much under control. Nobody had a single suspicion until I fell deeper in my pre-existing depression and lost my control. I was owed by meth. I was never in a bad mood when high. I lost count of days awake. Night and day just blended together like a delicious milk shake. Not good. Life became dark. My daughter was born and it didnt matter to me. I was always a good dad but I couldnt care less that I was a dad. Suicidal thoughts became daily. I countered that with music but became very obsessive with my guitar(s). No regrets there though because I became quite good. Excuse me as I toot my own horn but toot-toot. After a few years music could no longer help with my darkness and April of last year I hung myself. My brother saved my life and hasn’t spoken to me since. August my son was born. He was a surprise pregnancy. My addiction to meth still took priority. I loved to party and I loved to play. Now with infidelity I’m quickly losing my family. I hate meth and want it out of my life. I want my life back but fuck meth always wins! By now it was meth or me! I aquire a ball and ate all 3.7g at once! Either I die or survive but either way I was going to be done using! I survived. That was 3 months and 4 days ago. My wife is now my best friend. I owe her my everything as she stood by me the whole time. My baby boy is now 5 months old and daughter is now 3 and she loves her daddy more then ever having no clue that her whole life I was on meth just knows daddy is better. My oldest daughter sadly has a clue that something was off but knows daddy is back and finally feeling better. My wife has her man back and most importantly I have me back. I’m finally happy again and it shows. I promised my family that I would take back my life and now I’m currently sitting in class utilizing my post 9-11 GI bill in Aviation Maintenance getting my Airframe and Powerplant license and changing our lives forever. Now just over 3 months sober nothing makes me feel better than thinking fuck drugs, life is my new “drug” of choice! Thanks for reading.
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Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. I’m so happy you have your family back but more importantly, you have yourself back! Congrats on 3 months, that’s an awesome accomplishment. 
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Thank you for sharing your story.
It sounds like it was a long road but here you are.
Congratulations I’m glad your here