Long time alcoholic but I did have ten years of sobriety before I relapsed coming out of the pandemic on a family vacation with my parents and brothers kids in 2021. My relapse occurred when my father who was struggling from undiagnosed heart disease at the time and was having an awful time trying to walk around Disney asked to take a break and I offered to get him a drink, he asked for a beer which was something I had done a million times for him at ball games and other places but for a while I was really strong in my recovery and it never bothered me. Well this one time the guy pouring the cup had it over flowing and without even thinking I took a sip so I could walk with it.
Well that sip led to me buying my own beer by the pool later that afternoon…. Which led to beers at dinner, buying a 6 pack the next day and I was off to the races again as they say. 3 years of progression has gotten me to drinking about 20 beers a day and regularly engaging in blackouts again.
I was just down in Florida for a few days to go to a memorial event for a loved one which was a shared event for hundreds of different families. It was a complete disaster…. I was basically blacked out drunk from day one. I got kicked out of the first nights welcome dinner for being blacked out and then missed the actual memorial event because I got loaded at the pool bar and fell asleep without setting my alarm. This was an event that was a long time planned, 5 years, that had national coverage. I had been looking forward to it forever as it was a pretty cool event but I missed everything.
It was so heart breaking getting the texts from family members asking how it was and for pictures. I had to lie to them and say it was great but my phone died so no pictures. I’m just done again, so sick of the shame.
Sorry for the long post, there’s so much more to tell about this week but I’ll save it for a meeting.
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing a bit. Ten years of sobriety is an amazing accomplishment, so you know what it feels like and you can do the work to get that feeling back again. We are all moving forward, one day at a time. Best wishes and visit often!
Wow. Thank you for the post and for the honesty. This is something that I’m so fearful of that haunts me in the back of my mind.
First off, congrats on 10years…seems like an eternity to my 7+ months but I can’t look that far but what’s only in front of me. It also scares me how quick and easy one can give in. I just posted on here a few days ago how easy it could have been for me to get a drink. I wanted one badly but with reaching out and support here I was able to overcome. But will I after 2 years, 4, 7, 10?
I’m glad to hear your back on track but dang this disease is relentless…it doesn’t give up until you’re out for good. Man, thanks again for sharing and stay strong
Hello! Ten years. Wow! That is a huge accomplishment.
Sounds like you are going through a lot. Im sorry that you missed a big event bevaise of alcohol. Maybe you can use this as motivatuon to get sober again.
I recently started drinking again after two years sober. I dont like where its going. I am struggling with my identity and I am worried I cant quit again.
If you want, we can check in with each other and see how its going.
Thanks for sharing it just shows what a bastard this illness is i can relate not to time but the relapse itself we kid ourselves this time it will be different but always end up back to our worse. So glad your back and willing to fight again you got this
I relapsed with close to ten years of continuous sobriety. I thought it would be easy to come back if my decision to try and drink responsibly didn’t work out. I was wrong.
It was not easy for me to quit at all.
One of my biggest obstacles was not appreciating shorter periods of sobriety. It meant nothing because I had been sober for a decade. 30, 60, and 90 days meant shit to me. It was easy for me to walk away from those milestones, if I even acknowledged them at all.
Time flies weather we drink or not,. The next thing I knew I had been living in a constant state of relapse for nearly a decade. I had plenty of experiences that were bad enough to make me want to quit again. I missed not having alcohol related problems. I couldn’t control blacking out, and I would wake up to the aftermath of my drunken behavior. I would quit. I never made it past 87 days, I mostly never made it 30 days.
I could/would not appreciate my recovery, and I would end up repeating that vicious cycle.
I found this place, and its helped me 24/7.
I assume that is an AA meeting. Getting into the big book again helped me. I have a better understanding of my condition now, and the book makes more sense to me than ever before.
