My boss is having a few coworkers meet her at our usually bar to celebrate her bday. I am conflicted bc part of me doesnt want to go and the other part does bc I value our friendship. since I stopped drinking 7 months ago I find myself becoming an introvert again. when I was younger I was really shy and didnt speak up much. I dont want to box myself in I am having a hard time communicating now. what should I do?
Have you stopped going out all together?
How do you feel around alcohol these days. If you’re still scared perhaps go, but stay for just long enough to be polite. Then make your excuses.
Think about what you will be drinking all the way there, visualise the drink, don’t be scared, be confident and when it’s your turn to get a drink just say what you want.
Or if you are that unsure then it’s perhaps best not to go.
Only you can say how you will feel.
But remember you have nothing to be anxious about. Be proud of your sobriety! Be sobriety!
Confidence is a big part of our recovery I think.
Have a plan. Something like:
-show up right on time. It’s a party so many will show up late. This limits your exposure to peers drinking around you, and the associated pressures to drink.
-have a “time certain” plan to leave. An hour is a respectable time. Set your watch. You have somewhere else to be when that time expires.
-take 5 minutes of that time to speak with your boss, since it’s their party, and they are hosting. Then leave them to mingle with their other guests.
-always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand. No one will offer you a drink if you have a full glass in your hand.
And keep telling yourself you won’t drink because you don’t drink. You are a non-drinker.