So I am sticking to staying sober, and have found it increasingly difficult to casually talk about it without it getting weird. Like today someone started mentioning I should have a glass of wine after work in which I responded with I don’t drink, in which I was immediately questioned if I was pregnant. I kindly said no I just don’t drink, followed by an awkward silence… Thats the first encounter I have had so far in my ten days, aside from my partner who is supportive enough, but I feel they dont truly understand my brain in all of this. I feel I need like an accountability person who knows the struggle or something… Im really invested this time around and trying to set myself up for success… Any advice is appreciated!
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A couple of practices I learned in AA were to go to meetings regularly because that would keep me accountable and encourage me to develop sober, sobriety focused, relationships, and to call my sponsor daily. He wanted me to call daily so that calling him would become automatic and serve me in times of stress - when I felt like drinking I would know that calling him to express that feeling of helplessness was quite alright.
Well done on your 10 days! Blessings on your house 
as you begin this journey.
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I’ve just started my journey, but I’m always here for support. It’s though because so much of what we do is surrounded with alcohol. In the past I’ve just said I don’t like the way alcohol makes me feel or alcohol makes my anxiety worse so I choose Not to drink.
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Welcome to the community. Congratulations on your 10 days. I’m new to sobriety too. 111 days. I’ve encountered the same thing, people wanting to know why I don’t drink. At first I’d tell people I was on antibiotics but the longer I’ve been sober I now own my sobriety and simply tell people I don’t drink. You’ve found a great community that will give you tons of support and advice.
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I usually just add “I don’t smoke either” that normally makes people realise how I perceive drinking, sometimes also add “I just don’t like it” and if they ask further I’ll say it’s bad for your health, same as smoking.
I don’t really care about the awkward silences too much!!
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There is a stigma towards sobriety that exists in this world. I even felt it recently…
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Anyone who has a reaction to someone saying they don’t drink or eat a certain type of food, that reaction is about them. Try to remember that. I don’t eat offal, or drink warm milk, or eat blue cheese, either.
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I remember feeling exactly the way you do. Oddly enough, my social Circle almost seems jealous or something and then they take me inside see if they need to quit too.
The only people that I have heard actually question it has been my family members. Sometimes I wanna be sarcastic and said I feel like junior high with peer pressure. One trick I have used is when I offered a drink. I say not right now maybe in a little bit. If they ask you again, they’re just being annoying. I know some people may think it’s wrong to not just say, I don’t drink. But to me, you should just be enjoying peoples company not having to please them or entertain them with a glass of wine in your hand.
I remember a few times I have noticed people have a limp or some thing at work. And originally I thought they may have twisted their ankle and I said oh my god what happened? And they would say I’ll tell you about a little later. I’ve learned early on and that that just means they don’t want to talk about it. Actually, the person I’m thinking of it was the beginning of MS. I never asked her again. And if I did, I would feel awful. Another good coping strategy that is more truthful is, if someone says, why don’t you drink anymore? I just say it because it messes with my sleep. And anybody can relate to that. Even moderate drinkers don’t have as good nights sleep when they have a glass of wine or two before bed. By the way, they should be proud of you! I am! And you should be proud of yourself!
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First off, thank you! Secondly, that is such a smart way to think about it! I have a hard time not telling the truth when asked questions, like I would be lying if I said I just dont like to or how it makes me feel, but saying something along those lines like maybe later is very smart! I am worried to tell my family, as last time went terribly. I will try your advice to just put it off almost without making a huge deal and maybe people will get the picture. Thank you again!!
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Wow, that is so true!
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I am just like you, I despise lying. But what I usually say is, “not right now, maybe in a little bit.” And let’s be honest, we are all taking it day by day, I can’t answer if I’m gonna drink in the future. I only know one thing for sure, not today. And when I say may be a little later it’s just defuses the tense moment.
By the way, there’s nothing wrong with offering someone an alcoholic drink. But anyone that offers and you decline or op for water and then they inquire why you’re not for drinking? Those people have the manners of a barn animal. 
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Yes techinally it wouldnt be lying! And I agree with that last statement 
Totally not wrong to offer, but to continue to offer, pry, or make someone feel bad for declining is gross, typically I find its people somewhat “close” like coworkers or family. So they probably feel the need to know or the right to know, but they dont!
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I haven’t encountered this yet but can honestly say that my meds don’t mix with alcohol.
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Welcome to the community @Elletse. I’m on day 18 off my journey and it gets easier as the days go by but you do need to have people to talk to and who understand what you are dealing with. If you ever need anyone to talk to you can always reach out to me and there are many other amazing people in this group. When I first stopped drinking and downloaded this app I created a thread and I have tried to keep it honest and updated everyday and I’ve had many great interactions on it thus far. Maybe you can use this as your thread and update it everyday with your good and bad times and anything else and you will find many people are interested in your journey and you will meet amazing people like I did.
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I love that idea, thank you!! Congrats on 18 days!!
This person probably realised they goofed and didn’t know how to recover.
Sober people, that aren’t pregnant, exist. Several religions either frown upon drinking or outright forbid it, Buddhism, Islam, LDS to name a few. Some people are alergic to alcohol or chemicals found in alcoholic (my wife is one). Lot of people choose not to drink at all because they dont like it or just aren’t willing to risk it.
I think some people just aren’t very self-aware (or is it the opposite?) and end up sticking their foot in their mouths.
In early sobriety, we tend to feel vulnerable and anxious around these situations, like we will be judged or fear that people will discover (or assume) we have a drinking problem. I know I did early on. After some time, those feelings disolve and pride takes over.
The reality is, for the most part, few people really can’t understand why we don’t drink, and that’s ok, because the majority applauds us for it, depsite our reason.
As for sober buddies, I found lots on this forum, met many in person and chat/call/video chat with them all the time! Hang out here, find your pack to run with!
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Thank you for this!
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I am struggle bussing this evening… Time is going by so slow and all I want to do is drink… I dont know who to reach out to so Im writing it here…
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A craving is a feeling. Like all feelings, it will pass. And you will feel victorious when it does, as you should.
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I know the feeling, every tick of the clock feels like an hour… I paced back and forth every evening, wore a path in the carpet, just fighting the urge to drink. You can do it, you might need to get some new carpets, but you can do it!
Try to remember why you want to quit and know that a little discomfort now is worth the life you deserve. It WILL pass.
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