I’m 9 months sober and I’m very happy to have kept my sobriety this long. But I am really struggling with other aspects of my life. I just constantly feel like I’ve fucked my life up, wasted so much time and potential, and I’m super insecure about where I’m at in my life right now. I’m really trying to get my shit together and not harp on the part or be anxious about the future but it’s very very difficult for me. I feel like such a failure and I don’t know how to get out of it.
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Have you gone to any meetings? When I was sick of feeling like that I decided to finally try AA. It taught me how to let go of my past and learn how to live life sober. Worth a try if you haven’t 
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We tend look at ourselves and compare where we are with everyone else, and that can be good, but too often, it’s bad. When it’s bad, it can cause us to ruminate of all the negative things we don’t like about our selves.
Something that can help is adapting the growth mindset.
Here’s some videos on the topic of developing a growth mindset.
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First of all, congratulations on your 9 months of sobriety. That is no small feat.
Existential dread is a real thing. Those who have had substance use disorders for many years will likely know this feeling that you’re referring to, I know I do. Having wasted so many years of being wasted, not being further ahead in life is quite jarring. However, so long as you’re alive you can try and live the life that you want. Change is the hardest thing about sobreity, and I believe that this is one reason why many people relapse. The unknown is terrifying. There’s something inside of us that says, “it’s too late for you,” “what’s the point?,” it doesn’t matter." That’s just not true.
Consider taking inventory, not inventory of any “defects,” take inventory of what you want out of your life. What goals would you like to set, and where you want to be in one year, five years, etc?
I’ll give a little personal experience. I’m 472 days sober. I’m 35 years old, I had been drinking since I was 16, I’ve have various stints of sobriety. I kept relapsing because I was afraid of taking care of myself, I was afraid of owning up to the fact that I’m responsible for my own life. Since I made the choice to give sobriety another chance. I went from being homeless to moving to a beautiful state (Oregon.) I lived in sober living for 10 months and now I’m renting a room. I went from being a janitor to being an aide at a residental treatment facility. Now, I’m about to start a job as a substance use counselor at an outpatient clinic. Am I terrified of this? Hell yeah, but I’m going to do it anyway because I have to. I need to prove to myself that I can do it.
You don’t have to be a fuck up if you don’t want to be. Little by little, the more that you can prove to yourself that you can do difficult things, the more confidence that you’ll gain. Not only in your sobriety, but also in your life.
We’re all here to help and listen.
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While being sober fore a while you are seeing everything clear. We tent to be very strict to ourselfs. If you are a bit like me then that made you drink as well? It was for me.
I made myself mad by feeling so insecure because I wanted the perfect me.
I couldn’t fix the past. So I try to let go of that.
I focus on the future now and chopped my wishes for it in pieces so they are more manageable.
This helped me too:
I think I’m a perfectionist and it’s also one the roots of my drinking. Recovery got me moving forward again and I still do. It’s making small steps and small victories and being proud of them all.
I feel you, it’s difficult! But give yourself some slack. You are doing great! Focus on the good and the good get’s better!
Ps I added a coach to my life for a while to get me moving out of my dark perfectionist insecure mindset. That has helped me a lot too 
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