At 70 days sober my close friends are supportive but not the recovery supports I know I need. I’ve been thinking about trying to reconnect with some old friends who have either been in long term recovery or are just generally good healthy people to be around. I hesitate because I think they distanced themselves from me when my addiction told hold and I was no longer healthy for them. Would reaching out be disrespecting their boundaries? I keep thinking I should wait until I’ve been sober for longer, so it’s more reassuring, even though I feel at peace looking forward to a booze-free future. Is it better to just start fresh and find new people to connect with?
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Reach out, what is the worst thing that can happen…they stay distant?
You could also try a recovery program like AA, SMART, or Recovery Dharma
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Congratulations on your 70 days!!! I think it is definitely okay to reach out to your old friends and see if they want to reconnect low key to start…maybe a walk together or grab a coffee type of thing. I also think it is a good idea to build some new sober connections. Checking out sober opportunities in your vicinity is a great start.
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It is ok to try a catch up slowly it cant hurt to try. You should also make new sober friends. The more you have in your circle that you can call in hard times the better.
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Good point, I tried an aa meeting and found it overwhelming, but I do plan on trying a different meeting since it may just not have been the right one for me.
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Very good! So many different recovery meetings out there.
If I was one of those friends, I’d be flattered that you reached out to re-engage now that you are in recovery. Doesn’t matter for how long you’ve been sober.
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Thanks for the encouragement! I keep researching groups and resources, trying to find something that probably doesn’t exist instead of just making myself get out there
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Thank you, I don’t know what’s been holding me back so much from reaching out, I suspect the risk is really just in my head.
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Thank you, that perspective is seriously helpful
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@SGC1522 Reach out. Remember it’s the drunk side of you that your friends don’t like, it’s not you. Try as many sober avenues as you can. If one avenue doesn’t fit, search for another. Just don’t judge one type of sobriety method based on one encounter. I was quite confused when you described your first meeting as overwhelming. That sounded awful. Did you not feel safe and welcomed?
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Thanks so much for this insight, you’re right and I need to remember my addict voice is still talking even though it’s become a lot quieter. When I was overwhelmed at the aa meeting it wasn’t because I didn’t feel welcome. Everyone was very nice and got genuinely excited when I mentioned it was my first meeting. At the time I still had mild withdrawal symptoms, it was the very first time I talked about my drinking honestly with anyone, and hearing the relatable stories of others when I’d felt so alone this whole time was a lot to experience at once. Reflecting on it, it was actually a really important step for me to take!
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Very much so. I was like that my first meeting. I never went back there because I found my homegroup.
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I would definitely reach out to the friends that have been in long term recovery. They should be safe and definitely know where you are along the way.
I’ld give AA and couple more tries. It would surprise me if you don’t end up liking it and making some good long term connections.
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With the help of all of your encouragements I started reaching out. Just a brief and awkward interaction so far, but I tried it and feel much more confident about trying again. Thanks everyone
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