I am attending a catholic style funeral thursday for ny husbands grandmother…i do not follow christianity though i once did faithfully, i now practice a meditation based form of religion…anyway i find it very difficult to balance providing enotional support while also not engaging in any rituals that go against my beliefs. usually to deal with this i would get tipsy or high before the event to numb the bite of hipocracy i feel. i would then proceed to get tipsy or high after to numb the sense of guilt i feel if i was expected to participate and followed though. i brought up my discomfort to my husband…he said “this is not about you, who cares if u have to do a ritual what does that matter.” i am pretty stressed about how to go about this sober. i need and deeply desire to comfort my family, its so importabt that i get through this sober. i feel so selfish and troubled 
any tips on funerals early in sobriety? i’m at a strong 8 days
Hi Jaimelee, congrats on 8 days. Really…good for you. Im sorry to hear ur hubby isnt more supportive but i guess that’s understandable given what he is going thru? My suggestion would be to put some strategies in place, really keep your focus on why you are working on your sobriety and try to keep calm. Sometime easier than it sounds. Good luck - im sure you’ll do great xx
Well done on your strong 8 days! This is a tricky spot for you. Are you expected to take part in the ceremonies? My only idea is to put a ‘journalistic’ view on the situation. Kind of observing your surroundings, being interested in how the ceremony unfolds, noticing other people’s reactions etc. This tends to make me feel less ‘reactive/emotional’ about a situation… Just an idea.
@jaimelee stay strong. You are going through the religious ceremony to help the living tackle their grief in a way they are comfortable with. Just be there as a part of that support for your husband and others in the family. Remember when they are saying prayers or standing and chanting you can also stand and just be quiet. I have been to countless catholic funerals and weddings and I have never sang along nor bowed my head once.
thank you all. i appriciate the advice, ill be looking back to them over and over until thursday night
The primary reason you’ll be there is to show your respect towards someone who’s died.
People do this in different ways. Some drink, some get drunk, some tell jokes, some cry. No-one’s going to be shocked because you’re showing your respect by staying sober on what used to be called a ‘sober’ occasion. And if a toast is raised, pick up any glass, raise it, place it to your lips and put it back down.
I know I may sound a bit blunt or robotic, but that’s maybe how initial challenges like this are better tackled - once you bring your ‘natural emotions’ into play, that little voice is going to kick off and Bingo! Reset.
Good luck - you CAN do it!
that sounds so helpful i am going to aim my medion around that Thursday
by being sober you will be in a better position to handle the situation. You may not think so at the time but when looking back after the event you will realise the simple truth that sober is better.