I was afraid to post this but I just all the sudden started crying . It just hit me ! I just want peace and happiness being sober ! 
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No need to be afraid. I have too, I’m sure a lot of us on here have. Your body is going through some major changes. At times like these I’ve reflected on my years of drinking and what it has done, and not done for me.
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Welcome Gary, you’re among friends. I’m glad you’re here!
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It will happen 
Our bodies need time to adjust to not having substances in our systems. Drugs and alcohol can really effect the dopamine chemical in our brains. Thats the natural chemical that makes us feel happy. Once we get clean and sober, emotions (all kinds of emotions) come up and they aren’t always plesant. I know for me, in the problem, I knew how I was going to feel from one day to the next. I felt one way, I’d use to “fix” that… I felt another way, again, I’d use to “fix” it. I was constantly trying to feel better and to feel okay.
In recovery, I dont know how I’m going to feel each day. It’s literally been an emotional Rollercoaster. BUT… what I do know, is that by staying clean and sober, I am working towards true peace and serenity and genuine happiness. My “happiness” while using was fake and man made by ingesting drugs and alcohol. And being in recovery I have truly known what it is like feel alive and feel. Some days I AM super happy. Other days not so much. But as our bodies and brains adjust and we learn a new way to live without drugs, happiness comes thru. Are there any activities that help u to feel happy? Exercise for me is a good one. Baking and nature walks Take some time to think about what brings u joy
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Hey Gary.
I’m glad you posted.
I’m still crying some days when I really start feeling things. It hits me out of the blue some days. Like where’d that come from? I just let it happen. I’m feeling things like I’ve never felt them before. It really helps me to just let it out. Some days I’m tired of it happening. But I’m not fighting it. I let it happen.
I think it’s normal.
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Im so greatful that i can feel, for so many years that i didnt, held in emotions, trauma, and tragedies that i thought i was over. At times i just am flooded with the feelings and i begin to cry, but most are tears of joy for this new perspective i have on life. It really makes me happy and emotional that i can live without substances to numb me out from the world. Thanks for posting and sharing.
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