I’m 8 days clean I’m really trying to get my life on track I’m 21 years old n have been doing horrible n going down hill for 4 years n while I was using I was in a relationship that was toxic, abusive, n so much more but I love that person n we recently broken up n I would give my life for this person I just don’t know how to stay clean n deal with this heart ace idk if I need help or just to slip away into deep depression my life has been flipped upside down n idk what to do anymore or how to go about things anymore I just want the love of my life back n my heart to stop hearting
(I’m new to this app I just had a lot on my mind n needed to get it out)
5 Likes
Welcome! This is a great first step!
Maybe start with looking at yourself with the same regard that you hold this person in. For me, I could only love someone, the way they deserve once I truly loved myself.
Getting Sober is a process. First step is to absolutely not drink/use.
Stick around. You deserve a sober life
5 Likes
Welcome Chelsey! Congrats on wanting to change your life at such an early age. Take this time to get to know yourself and love yourself. Getting comfortable being alone with our feelings and thoughts takes time.
Sounds like you may have some codependency going on here. I had no clue what this was all about and after hearing about it at AA meetings, I started doing some research and sure enough I fit all the characteristics. Now I listen in on meetings online and it’s helped me tremendously. I use intherooms.com for Coda, AA and NA.
Wishing you the best on your new journey. 
2 Likes
Glad you are here. Heartache is rough, even when the relationship wasn’t good for us. I know, as I too lived the reality of a toxic abusive relationship. It can feel so compelling, so important, so right…even as we are being treated so horribly. For myself, my confidence and self esteem took a real blow and I had a skewed view of love.
I hope you can start believing more in yourself and your worth…sobriety can be a very healing journey of our body mind and spirit. And also a time to take back our strength. For me it was so important to focus on myself and my healing. Other relationships took 2nd place while I worked on my most important relationship …with myself. It was very needed. Maybe it is the same for you? Idk, I do know that heartache tho and I hope you feel some relief from reaching out. You are worthy of so much more than a toxic abusive relationship. I am glad you are here.
1 Like
Thinking of you @Cheech. Sending strength, so glad you found us! You have had some great advice already but I just wanted to let you know that I hear you and we are here for you.
