Hi y’all -
What are some of your reflections when you look back on your time drinking/using?
One of mine I’ve been thinking about this past week is the stigma between those who can “handle” their alcohol and drugs and those who can’t.
I think this delayed my sobriety substantially since I’ve lived in a city for the past 9 years that revolves around the party scene.
I would feel super ashamed and uncomfortable for being outcasted as someone who frequently went “overboard” while others maintained regular habits and never seemed to share my problems. I always convinced myself I could go back to that, too.
I guess it’s all subjective though and I can’t judge someone else’s experience, only take responsibility for my own.
It’s definitely made me consider moving many times because the lifestyle is all around me.
Anyone make a big move because of sobriety?
I hear you. In the case of my addiction the excuse my addict brain used was “it’s normal, everyone does it”. What a load of baloney.
Below is a reflection I posted on another thread but it’s relevant here too:
I realized one afternoon at home that I had no friends. It was the loneliest feeling I’d ever had.
I decided I didn’t want to be alone. I decided to learn how to be present, with myself, in healthy ways. I joined a sobriety group and attended meetings. I learned how to accept and process my emotions, without escaping into my addiction. I developed a toolkit I use.
Learning how to be present with myself, helped me to be present with others. I now have people who I count as true friends.
It starts with being a true friend to yourself. And that means attending to your needs, in healthy, sober ways; listening to the emotions that are tugging you toward relapse. What are you running from?
Doing that will help disempower the addict brain. You’re not destined to relapse here. You can get under the relapse and prevent it before it starts - by naming and understanding the feeling you have, that you’re trying to run from.
I changed my mind on sth you said about other people maintaing a regular habit without problems. I used to think that too but have come to believe that anyone who regularly consumes mind altering substances does so out of a need to flee reality and that alone is a problem. They might not have the problems that come as consequences of addiction (yet), but the causal problem is present. I don’t envy people anymore who can still drink because of that.
Totally agree. I must admit I spent several weeks at the beginning on reflection.
I’ve said before that I wish I’d kept a journal to remember what was going on.
Ah, well hindsight is so good.
Agreed. I think my perception was skewed for a good while because of who I was surrounding myself with.
And also - I’m in my late 20’s but plenty of younger people I socialize with are heading down a similar path, they just might not realize it yet.
People places things ,whereever you go it’s all around you,I’ve given up a 20 year herion habbit and I have a dealer on my street,I believe there comes a time where it just doesn’t bother or get to you because you have surrenderd yourself to the fact that using wil end in desaster.
Took me longer I think! Well said!