would love a song sometime. 
Still working with masks too in Quebec! Goverment says in September we should be able to take them off 
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its wild how bad I let myself go before my relapse. Time to bring it back, went for a little ride and a little hike. Grateful my mom gets it and letās me go get out for a little. It
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Halibut? If so, I want some
Oh the joy of seeing the destructive behaviour become apparent after a relapse. I hope you utalize what you now can see that change in behaviour and the change in your routine didnāt benefit you. Each one of us will think we can step back to an old behaviour, some of us have to relapse to accept we canāt.
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Yes halibut! Itās my favorite fish to eat
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Thatās the thing tho I wasnt stepping into old behaviors. I got myself a harley, was drawing and tattooing and trying new things and I think the new things and fear of not knowing what was gonna come of my new career really stressed me out and then thatās when the relapse came. But I wasnāt really doing old behaviors, Iāve never drawn or tattood in my life. The good things in sobriety can make you just as vulnerable
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So you identified that you had stressā¦ So instead of continuing with the things that have been a support in your sobriety. You went to an old friend.
You have had these challenges before in your life and picking up was your go to. Nothing new about stress, uncertainty or even faith in yourself but we relied on substance then ourselves.
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Yeah for sure it sucked. Iāve had way more stressful shit happen in my sobriety, how I managed to make it 456 days without a single drop or drug was amazing. Now I just gotta get through it again and I will
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Modsā¦feel free to move this to a different thread since this kind of details the selfie thread
I could be completely off with this, so forgive me if this doesnāt sound rightā¦ but would it be better to think of all your sober days going forward as a continuation of the days you had before your relapse? Thinking of it as a something you have do to all over again might be really stressful and discouraging.
You still have that time and all those experiences under your belt, you didnāt lose them (I know itās clichĆ©). Itās not really something you have to ādo all over again.ā Just thought it might be an idea that helps.
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Lookin good Mike! 
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Yeah I agree I still have that strength and knowledge. But how would I even do that without restarting, no the 456 days I had havenāt been lost but I canāt continue saying Iām 475 days sober. So how would I say it? To many sober ppl would judge me for that shit as itās already been proven lol. To many ppl expect you to start over even I thought the same before my relapse but once I relapsed boy did I realize I was on a big old high horse, I always said oh that will never happen,you have to reset if you drink one beer. Well I can see it certainly humbled me, and I can seethere are alot of ppl on that big old pedastle themselves and all I can say is it really humbles you. All I know is I wanna stay sober before I dig to deep. So Iām ok with saying Iām at 4 days, I needed to be humbled down
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Sober today is sober today. We cannot rely on a mere accumulation of sober days, we need to do the work today. You are reminding me of that.
If humble means grateful, then thatās a fantastic beginning. I am grateful I was sober today, Iām grateful I was not obsessed with alcohol today.
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Your right but yet everyone does rely on those days and you canāt deny that lol. Yes we all say all we have is today, untill you lose those days. Then it feels completely different. The days mean alot and give you something to be proud of. But yes it humbled me and made me grateful for alot, mostly that Iām still here trying and alive
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Thanks, Mike. This is another example of why I need your experience - I need to know what itās like on the other side of my pile of days. I deeply appreciate your sharing and courage.
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I feel the days mean a lot less (for myself at least) the second time around. The first time I hit 1 year and it felt like I had done it and I was cured but relapsed a few months after that. The relapse lasted for many years. It took a long time for me to realize sobriety was for life. I only let myself mark even days on my calendar so Iām not always counting and I make myself live fuller days in between. Itās cool to see the number but the milestones make me feel like I am further along than I truly am.
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Agreed,that was my biggest mistake thinking I was cured thatās when I stopped working my recovery, I stopped praying, stopped excerising, only focused on drawing and tattoos which I thought was ok because it was new stuff, but I became very stressed because I wanted the success right away. Now Iām just gonna work on things slowly and let them come naturally. Anyways sorry for derailing this thread, reading the girls bed time stories and off to sleep myself
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Please excuse the āfollowersā part of this gif I couldnāt resist the ā900ā and the strutting goats. Super job, congrats on your recovery.
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Happy to see that face out in nature again!!!
Forest bathing for the win.
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