Like I was telling my kids mom when we were on good terms, I was a teenage boy once, I know how teenage boys think and act, cause I did the same damn thing. Trying to keep them from something makes them want it more, that doesn’t mean encourage them, but make them mindful of these situations and how to be properly prepared for them and make mindful choices,
As far as sexual matters, pure abstinence and the mind thought given about abstinence doesn’t work, or it works in a low percentage of the population. Leaving young adults with a perception given by what they saw on TV or were told about by their friends and is awfully misinformed, of course you got porn which also gives a terrible perception of reality too.
So here I am on day 2. In the past I made it to over 1 year sober. I’d like to get that back and build on that year.
But I have my doubts about the whole AA thing. I’m an atheist myself and I’m trying to figure out what AA could offer someone like me. But even than I’d still be very hesitant to join them.
How do the rest of you make it through sobriety with such a kind of group?
There is other avenues than AA if you feel meetings are helpful Many secular groups exist such as Smart Recovery, I’m not really familiar with it but from what I understand it’s more of a scientific approach to recovery Vs a faith based approach
My parents are mega worship leaders and are seriously addicted to work and service. I had no structure as a kid, barely a basic level of care, and the emotional expectations are all over the place. (Not to mention the child-labour.) I was a worship major in college, but had addiction tendencies from childhood with food, stealing, coffee, ED, anything for control. When I became old enough to hide it, it became alcohol, partying, anorexia, porn, chaotic relationships, and a heavy weed addiction.
Atheist and clean now, I can see exactly where my addiction started in the beginning with them. Just trying to fill the void I was told I was supposed to have. My addiction isn’t much different than theirs.
Bc of all this I think I ran from recovery for yearsss because I thought getting better meant I’d have to find God again to survive and I physically cannot do that, or fake it twice. Abuse is shit, but the clarity I’ve found from being clean on this side of things is honestly “a blessing”
Congrats on being clean Emily. And thanks for being here. Makes me glad you are. We’re in this together. For me that’s it really. We can’t do it alone, we need each other. Human to human.
People see something like faith and worship or work as healthy cause it doesn’t have the debilitating factors that substances can, but it’s still an addiction, using a particular device to obtain a feeling of euphoria, I say it all the time you could be addicted to cereal. Just cause the thing your addicted to isn’t a poison to the body doesn’t mean it isn’t wreaking havoc on your life,
I likewise came from a devout religious family facing neglect abuse and basic needs, but outside those walls we were supposed to paint this picture perfect family my parents still devout religious last we spoke, but refuse to acknowledge they have an unhealthy relationship with religion and each other, so your amongst people who truly understand
I used refuge recovery/dharma recovery which are Buddhist approaches, but i learn from AA people daily on here.
Also as the philospoher Hagel puts forth the idea of god is simply a higher reality we can experience through self determination. There is no being (because by definition a being cant be infinite any more than a triangle can have 4 sides), but life’s constant determinism unaffected by my addictions or whims is a higher reality than i can tap into on my own. So personally my higher power is that. Buddhists think the path can lead to nirvana… , but it def can help me navigate this world better than my monkey mind without the higher reality to stride for.
Flow like water. Take whats useful, leave whats not. No need to change yourself in the process though unless the old you is deemed no longer useful. Take care
If you have a search of the forum for something like ‘aa atheist’ a bunch of threads will come up. This is a thread for talking about paths to sobriety without a higher power
I spent some time attending online Recovery Dharma meetings which I enjoyed!
I guess I’ll share my experience in this thread. Well growing up In strict christian household I grew to hate God. As I’ve gotten older and more open minded I’ve learned to appreciate whatever gives a person hope, or makes them a better person, or just gives them faith on the daily. Even if I don’t belive in the ideology itslef I respect it. It’s not always vice versa and as off putting as it may be Its a reminder to be grateful I’m not that way to others beliefs. Besides this what helped me a great deal on a higher power was when a man shared “when we had to use or drink even when we didn’t want to but because we needed it that was a power greater than ourselves, now I just flip the script what keeps me clean today is a power greater than myself”…I definitely could relate to that.
Can’t tell you how much I love this fellow. I particularly love hearing him talk about how he navigated mental health challenges. I also regularly listen to him narrate stories on the Calm app that help me fall asleep He is a true gem of a human.
I can relate. I try very hard not to judge others based on what is working for them personally. Thanks for sharing. You’ll find this thread is where we try to focus less on being tolerant of others’ religious influences (because life throws that our way often enough already) and more on how we can champion the way of the nonbeliever the antireligion perspective. That’s my take, anyway.
This is my first unconditional community, and it is a serious game changer
, but it def can help me navigate this world better than my monkey mind without the higher reality to stride for.
for something like ‘aa atheist’ a bunch of threads will come up. This is a thread for talking about paths to sobriety without a higher power 
He is a true gem of a human.
the antireligion perspective. That’s my take, anyway.