I don’t like the g-word. To me, it refers to a mythology that’s no longer relevant. AA has been around for over 80 years. The language of it no long resonates, but I think the program is sound. Step-1 is simply admitting you have a problem. Step-2, just means, you’ve tried to fix it on your own but failed, so you need help. That’s it. No g-word needed. The greater power may simply be a group of alcoholics helping other alcoholics. I am not religious. But as someone who’s had the shakes night after night from drinking too much, I don’t really feel that powerful. If I’m anything I’m a naturalist. I feel like I’m a part of nature. If we give ourselves what we need, create the environment to heal, we will. Naturally.
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I too am a nonbeliever in recovery. My higher power as I understand it is a better version of myself in the future, the one that sees the struggle and knows it was worth it. I also see the community of other alcoholics in my life as a higher power. I can’t (alone), we can (together). I go to AA meetings occasionally just to be around other people afflicted as I am. It’s good to be around eachother, even if I don’t share most of their belief structures. It is one of many tools in my recovery portfolio. Guess what? I’ve never had an issue with anyone because the Golden Rule is universally appreciated and generally reciprocated. Take care fellow heathens. 
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I think a lot of us here would just rather not go into the AA environment and have found other ways to better ourselves with like minded people and different resources other than the big book. It’s nice to hear others have great experiences but that cannot always happen. I think this thread has been such a great thing, especially for me. I love the fact that I can express myself in my own way along with others and share our own strategies of how we achieve our sobriety 
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I’ve been lurking quietly around this thread so I guess I’ll chime in 
I myself had a falling out with religion and haven’t put a label to myself since but I suppose I would indeed be considered an atheist haha. Happy to have this thread and to read everyone’s experiences!
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@anon9289869 !! So happy you chimed in and you are more than welcome to stay! happy to see you!
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Another godless heathen here 
You are not alone, friend!
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Hello. As my name would suggest I am OP (original poster @Compen ) wife. I am agnostic. Grew up Christian, never really got into everything. Struggled to find my path, my own way. Always found holes in religion and sought out the truth behind all of the writing. I never understood why everyone wants to force their ideas on other people, mind you people who are not fundamentally wrong. I never understood how people can go to a single 1-2 hour service barely paying attention then walk out and be rude and nasty the rest of the time and still get into a better place. After having been in relationships with abusive religious people I finally decided I was done. If "God/Allah/ whoever"is willing to accept all of these assholes simply because they pray to him 1 day a week but will refuse people who have been nothing but kind and loving because they didn’t call or his name…I don’t want anything to do with it. Do I fully believe that after I die I leave this realm and live forever in some nirvana pearly gated heaven, not completely. It would be nice to leave this hell behind, but logically I assume either we cease to exist or our consciousness transfers to another living being. I am attempting to find a life of sobriety alongside my husband. AA and its hang good about finding God or never being sober has left a bad taste in my mouth. Sobriety is all about psychological change. Like with any addiction (eating, smoking cigarettes, or electronics) simple life changes and getting to the root of your trauma or whatever causes you to attempt to fill that void will help you to curb your addiction. Sorry for the long read. I’m a lover of words and this is my story. I hope it may help someone, and if not it eases my anxiety about socializing.
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I am so happy to hear your story and to see you here! @Lavien.Compen I have loved this thread and so many like minded people have joined in and it’s feeling more and more like a community
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My husband found this and I decided to join I’m happy this is a very supportive group. We live in the Bible belt and have received a lot of backlash for my husband being atheist(no one minds me being agnostic, I just don’t say anything about not praying to skate by). I can’t stand religious people hating on atheists’ simply because they can’t narrow their minds to a single book of writing (written thousands of years ago) to devote their lives. Atheists are not running around abusing people all day simply because they can. I have known many atheist who are kind and generous, and would never harm anyone without god cause. Conversely I have known many Christians who seem to believe they can do it say whatever and then pray for forgiveness and carry on with their lives merrily. I can’t get behind hatred, or forcing other people to conform to their ideas. Finding a community we can be ourselves without being preached at about being horrible people is literally a lifesaver!
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Welcome @Lavien.Compen. Thanks for your support. There appears to be a lot of us not so good with the God thing.
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It is so sad when people twist religion to be a way of casting judgement on others. It really isn’t or shouldn’t be part of it. But I suppose religions are made up of people with all their flaws…
The important thing is that you have found a way forward. Being happy with yourself can be a difficult thing to achieve so that is amazing that you’ve found it 
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I don’t think it’s that we need steps, or god or w.e it’s just the will and want to be better. But getting complacent. And thinking we dont need anything can be dangerous. I relapsed after 456 days bc I thought I was cured, could handle it, and didn’t need any tools anymore. I was able to do it on my own, which resulted in a 5month long binge. I just think the more tools the better, when your mind starts telling you you don’t need this or that, it’s probably best to not listen lol. Keep up the great work
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I feel you there man, I’ve had several attempts at sobriety none of them I was actually ready like I didn’t really want to stop. But when I actually became ready and wanted better and doing things like exercise and seeing results in my appearance I was on what’s called the pink cloud which is very common in the first 4 to 5 months of sobriety. Are bodies just feel so good and healthy and we are experience new things it’s almost like a whole other type of high. But for some reason it starts to die and life starts happening and that’s when the tools come in handy bc it help keeps you in check with reality. That year was amazing and I was on the pink cloud for a while. But once it died I became very depressed and had a hard time again, and this time since I got sober I’ve had no pink cloud. I still beat myself up for my relapse, my life just seems a mess. But I know I can’t drink or drug again. Your doing great, keep doing what you are doing and slowly build up more and more tools. It’s just like a tool box in are garage the more tools the better whatever gets the job done
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Umph I crashed hard after my nice pink fluffy cloud. Like all the reality of life and the realisation that the not drinking is just one piece of the puzzle.
I know it’s not the same for everyone though. Having a support network and making a start on self improvement through the good times though makes sense either way. To help be prepared for the not so good times. Even if its not a massive pink cloud/ depression type thing, there will always be some times that are harder than others.
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I didn’t do any steps. Maybe I have kind of gone through some of the stuff in them but not intentionally. I’ve just done a lot of reading and reflecting here. And in therapy. And over time opening up to friends and family, about life stuff not just sober stuff.
Maybe doing the steps gives it more structure and might make it quicker. But it’s definitely not the only way
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It takes work to stay sober. We have to work to have better lives by whatever means we individually need. Exactly because we all are unique individuals we all need to find and walk our own roads, without forgetting the similarities we have as well. So we don’t need to invent everything. But still we should all own our own pathways.
The most important thing imo is the non-addicted social support system we must create and maintain. We isolated ourselves when we were in active addiction. In active addiction we were egotistical narcissistic people, totally preoccupied and consumed by our addictions.
To stay sober and clean we must do the opposite to that, we must communicate, we must be part of community, we must find a healthy common ground with others.
Peer support groups like aa can be useful tools in that pursuit. The steps can be a helpful tool in doing the work to stay sober. But there are many other just as valid or even more valid tools for that. I choose other ways. They are by no means necessary. Each their own way. Damn it, a hp or a belief in a god can be tools. Not for me though.
Togetherness is prime. I am sure of that. Happy to be together with you all here friends 
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Might as well enjoy it for as long as it lasts!
Therapy is a good idea and it’s awesome that you have a good support network in place. I agree with @mno 100%. Connection, community, communication. All really important parts of the process.
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