It is a long shot, but is anyone else here on the Antisocial “spectrum”? I find it difficult to relate to my peers on some fronts. And finding new stimuli that is considered pro-social.
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Hi, I don’t know what exactly it means to be on the spectrum of antisocial personality. But I have a lot of experience with social anxiety and loneliness and feeling like I cannot relate/am unrelatable - like a lot of folks on here have! I personally had not met up sober with anybody not even closest friends for years, before I got sober. It was scary. I felt so isolated and forlorn amongst others. 
I can tell you, this changes with sobriety, and today I am able to make connections again. Not as ecstatically and crazily as I’d have pictured in my youth but deeply and healthier. Same goes for social activities. I’m still very cautious and easily uncomfortable when it comes to those - but small steps and one day at a time, I’m making progress. And you will too. How long are you sober and what’s your doc?
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Thank you for your response.
I suppose I’ve not had many connections to people at all. My family is trying, and for the sake of convention, I play the role. But I have no innate desire to be around them or build relationships. They feel… I dunno. foreign to me. But engaging with them seems to make them happy. And a happy universe seems like a good bet for the long haul. I’ve been sober for 11 months. DoC was heroin. It made me feel. But now that I am back, I realize I felt before. Just differently.
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I see. Well, with your amount of sober time (great job btw!!!) and what you’re describing I’m going to go out on a limb here and suspect that you find it easier for some reason to describe yourself as antisocial rather than framing the problem as “my relationship with my family is estranged and tense”. This might only now that your use is out of the picture show up at such. And there are also reasons why the relationship is what it is. And those might be the next step in your recovery to work on, realise, overcome or learn to live with, make good or put to rest, whatever is appropriate for you. Could this be the case?
Do you work a program, or do you perhaps do counseling or therapy? All these can help you go through this.
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I’ve got the same social ability as Sheldon Cooper in big bang theory. Does that count?
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It is kind of you to frame it as such. But part of my therapy is accepting ugly truths and working from those. And the “ugly” truth in my case is I feel no connections. And thus no obligations to adhere to social norms. I feel zero guilt about anything I’ve done. But I’ve “made amends” for their sake. Though I don’t think forced contrition would be considered contrition at all.
I make the choice to adhere to the norms now regardless. So I guess I am just working through that. No steps here. I stick to Refuge Recovery. Though around here it is difficult. Especially with COVID. 
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Oh, that must be a sight 
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Well, whatever the framing, really, working on ugly truths as you say, is definitely part of recovery and necessary and I wish you good luck and success discovering more about yourself and what’s behind this unconnectedness.
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